A character in Robot Chicken
Tied for 10th most-quoted character in Robot Chicken: in 4 of its 315 quotes
Most scenes with: Mom (2)
[A dad, a mom and their son are in the living room on Christmas morning. The son is about to open his present and his dad is excited. The boy opens the present which explodes, killing him]
Ha, ha! Ha...Ah, it was a lot funnier when Jokey Smurf did it. Huh.
Uh-oh! Are you kids being bad?
Yeah!
You know what THAT means!
Punishment from above!
[The four Apocalypse Ponies fly in through the window.]
[singing]
My Little Pony: Apocalypse Pony!
Punish mankind for their sins!
I'm Pestilence Pony! [laughs and sprinkles some gray dust onto the girl below]
I love you, Pestilence Pony.
[Suddenly, she starts coughing from bubonic plague from the dust.]
I'm FAMINE Pony! [neighs, shoots a ray of light, empties a bag of chips the boy is eating, and reduces him to skin and bones]
Yay! WAR PONY!
[As the song continues, he sets the couch and many other things in the living room on fire by blowing it from his mouth, causing the smoke alarm to ring. Then the children's parents run into the room, confused by what's going on.]
Hey, what's all this racket?!
[hugging her kids] My goodness!
And I am… [demonic voice] DEATH PONY!
Aw, how sad. The poor thing can't hear.
[scared, eyes wide] No, mom. I think he said—
[Death Pony roars, spews out a bigger beam of light, and disintegrates the family into skeletons, which drop into piles. Then we cut to a screen with the four Apocalypse Ponies; a second later, a rainbow fades in with the words "Apocalypse Pony" shining in from a comet that sweeps across.]
[singing]
My Little Pony: Apocalypse Pony!
Punish mankind for their sins!
[popping into the screen with a circle] I love you, Apocalypse Ponies!
[A boy and girl are standing next to a Christmas tree that has no presents under it]
[disappointed] Aww.
Mom and dad couldn't afford our Christmas presents because the price of gas is so high.
But I've been extra good. Swear I'm gonna [bleep] some [bleep] up next year.
[off-screen] Did somebody say "energy crisis"? [flies into the house]
Not in those exact words, Captain America.
The high cost of energy is crippling America, kids.
But what can we do?
We can lick this problem if we all do our part together. [stands next to the thermostat] Turn the dial down to 68 degrees, and we'll use less heating oil.
We're not gonna do that. My feet get cold.
Uh, okay. Next tip. [next to the TV, holding the plug in his hand] Electronics still use energy even when turned off. Make sure to unplug them.
That sounds exhausting.
Pass.
Uh... [we cut to outside, next to a clothes line full of clothes] Clothes dryers are 20% of a home's energy bill. Dry your laundry outdoors, and save power.
I'd never wait that long.
Nobody's gonna do that.
Oh, fine. [Bleep] you then. [throws his shield down, which breaks a window. He then storm off, getting caught in the clothes line and breaking it.
[Back inside mom and dad are awake]
Sorry we couldn't afford gifts this year, kids.
That's okay. It's enough that you don't force us to live like a bunch of broke-ass hippies.
Aww.
[We cut to Captain America, who is sitting in a chair with his uniform hanging on a clothes line outside]
[shivering] My feet are [bleep]ing freezing.
Can I listen to this tape in Teddy Ruxpin, mommy?
Of course, Jessie.
Do I wish I could just leave my wife? Yes. If she'd take Jessie with her and get out of my life, that would be ideal. I just don't see that happening. Sometimes I just think murder is the only option!
Honey, I'm missing the tape from my therapy session. Oh, shoot!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Robot Chicken pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Robot Chicken · 315 quotes
