Summer quotes from Rick and Morty

Summer

Why are you dressed like Morty?

Jerry

Because Morty's mom is Beth!

I'm not unpacking that...

Ugh! I can't even pretend to feel useful in a game! This is how humanity's story ends?! Relieved of duty and sat at the kids' table?!

I gotta respect these dinosaurs. They dominated a whole species just by calling its bluff about wanting more free time.

They didn't even dominate us, because we're not worth a fight to them. We've become biological Tyler Perry movies.

All they've done is help.

We didn't need their help! We were not the problem! This house recycles! [notices a Velociraptor sorting their rubbish outside and shouts at it] THEY SORT IT AT THE TRASH FACILITY! [the raptor shakes its head disapprovingly at her]

Summer

[on her phone] What the "F"?! My dance videos are getting, like, zero likes now!

Oh yeah, the dinos kicked pedophiles off TikTok.

Summer

Great, so now I'm broke?!

You don't need money anymore.

Summer

So what's this for now? Phone calls?! Ugh! [throws her phone against the wall]

[to Rick] Oh, come on, Dad, you don't hate this too?

Why would I? I-I was already doing what I wanted. I do think it's kinda funny that you're all basically Jerry now.

Jerry, how do you do it?

Summer

Yeah, Dad, how do you do it?

How do you do it, Dad?

Jerry

Huh?

How do you do it?!

Jerry

[amazed] It's finally happened!

Jerry

Rick, why is there a man shooting piss on our front lawn?

I'm sure he'll tell you.

I am Pissmaster! Here to flush the toilet that is Rick Sanchez!

Jerry

He's spraying my lavender bush! My bees need that lavender!

Remember five seconds ago when you guys were stoked about me changing, because it made you feel superior?

[peering through window] Ooh, whole family's here! Who's that redhead? Wouldn't mind spraying her with a golden shower!

Summer

Oh, my God, what?!

Hey!

Jerry

Okay, that's it! [stands up]

Jerry, please think about this. If you fight this guy, I'm either an asshole for not helping, or an asshole for helping.

Jerry

My daughter just got spoken of in porno terms, and I'll respond how I choose! [marches outside]

Wait! Morty, you have to promise not to tell anyone, but your dad made Pissmaster kill himself.

Oh, man, what?!

Yeah, I mean, I found him dead and I-I put on his suit, but look at this - he literally blames your dad. [gives Morty Pissmaster's note]

Holy shit... Wait, you kept the suicide note?! That's so messed up!

I know, I mean, I had to tell someone, Morty. I couldn't just sit on that--

And you expect me to?! [runs into the house]

Morty, no! What are you doing?!

Jerry

What the hell?! He KILLED HIMSELF?!

Jesus, Dad, you should've told us! Especially if Jerry murdered him!

Jerry

Wait, don't say that! I-I didn't murder!

Hey, I-I thought it was pretty cool that I withheld that information.

But you didn't withhold it! You're walking around with the note!

Summer

Yeah, Grandpa, you gotta, like, keep it in your heart as a great sacrifice. That's the cool move.

Jerry

I mean, how am I the bad guy? He sprayed piss on us! Y-You all cheered me on!

Don't drag us into this.

Summer

A man is dead, Dad.

Again, wasn't gonna say it, but I told you this would happen.

Oh, get off your high horse.

Dr. Wong would be so proud!

Summer

BOO!

Go ahead and boo! I was breathing piss, you think I care?

Jerry

Is this what it's like to trend? [sobbing] This is a nightmare! I should've just let him pee on my daughter...!

Summer

Eww! What the hell, Dad?!

They left a note!

Summer

Should we read it in Rick's voice or Dad's?

"Dear Family, we thought about leaving a note, but then one of us was like 'Why are we leaving a note? That's such a Jerry thing to do. But if we didn't leave a note, that's such a Rick thing to do.' And then we realized we just gotta be us, so it's a note but it's not really well-thought-out." That's it? They got out a pen and paper for this?

Oh shit, psychic warfare!

Summer

What?!

Hold on. Grandpa's got this...

Oh shit, run! [the thugs flee]

Summer

Whoa, psychic grandpa.

No, look. [removes a concealed device from his head] Fake temple with a high-pitch noise maker. Run before these guys figure it out!

[watching on monitors] He's a fake, you morons! Like most psychics! Kill them!

Summer

"Check this out"?

Yeah, window jump. Try to say it's my first Taken now.

Summer

It's your first Taken.

I'm getting my groove back!

You heard him, boys! Kill him before he gets his groove!

Summer

None of this would've happened if you had just unmerged us when I asked! Morty gets everything for free!

Morty's a dog! People have cats because their affection is earned! I treat you like an equal because I respect you! You... remind me of your grandmother.

Oh, my god, you both reek! What is that?

Morty and I shit our pants. You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club!

Summer

Uh, okay, sluts!

Summer

I know you lost a brother in there. Don't make me lose you.

It's like the pain is all I have left of him! But-- But he's gone! He never existed in the first place!

Summer

Don't say that! Without you and your friends, we never would've escaped the Matrix!

Rick! He-- He would've woken up and let us out!

Summer

On whose terms?! He would've wiped us clean before our eyes were open, and then they'd really be gone! All of them! CJ. Chaplock... Marmaduke, um...

8-Ball! Jesus!

Summer

I-- I'm... I'm sorry, Morty. You get to decide now. What do you wanna do?

I wanna go home.

Summer

Yeah. Let's go home.

All Earth theme parks end the same way! Jurassic Park, Westworld – even the rides inside the theme parks tell the same story! You're on a boat ride when suddenly, you take a detour to a waterfall, and now you're in a pirate's den, forced to suck dick to stay alive! [cackles madly]

Summer

Why would you do this?!

The greatest tribute to Earth is a theme park that ends in CHAOS!