Rick quotes from Rick and Morty

I know you're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake!

Huh. Big star in the sky. [breathes in] Oxygen-rich atmosphere. Giant testicle monsters. [turns around, excited] We'll be fine! Let's party!

Oh god, it hurts... she got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty! It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, Morty! Now it has a hole in it!

Don't do it, guys! The casualties would be in the brazillions... cause you're Brazilian? It's a threat and a pun! Nobody gets me.

Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment, it seems to make everyone that gets it really happy.

Holy shit, I'm a terrible father.

Eat my ass, BP! You're down here bailing on the rest of us because you don't want to process your grief and shame like a normal person: by drinking and mistreating strangers!

Cool place you've got here. Very "Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic".

Oh shit! Rick and Two Crows! Kicking off my new franchise! The galaxy is our telephone wire! We'll do a thousand seasons, fourteen episodes each night, nine seconds a pop, because that's the future of viewing! Shows on your shoes! Sneakies! That's when you've got everybody's attention, when they're putting crap on their feet! That's when they wanna laugh, cry or feel anything besides a shoe going on their foot! Watch sitcoms on your sneakers! The Rick and Two Crows Show! We're gonna be laying... laying walnuts on the road for... car tires to open 'em! Y'know what I mean? Forever! Rick and Two Crows, forever!

It's worse than you think, Morty. We're basting in meta radiation right now. Our credibility is being permanently eroded. Every second we spend here is the equivalent of ten Space Jam cameos.

Don't grift a grifter, Morty; I have friends in cosmic places.

See, this is why religion sucks! Infinite energy, and the Pope uses it to levitate like Criss Angel!

[on a recording] You think it's fun to be a god, Ted? You think God's nipples get hard when he murders a fish?

Kick the ball! Kick the bloody ball!

Uncle Barry?

Yeah, mate. That's me. And who am I speaking to?

Name's Rick. Dougie sent me. [Uncle Barry points suspiciously at Rick]

Look, I don't know who you are, but you look like a top bloke. And I know this is weird to say, but I feel a strong bond between us.

Yeah, I don't know what it is. I-I've only met you for like fifteen seconds, but it feels like fifteen years.

Grab a fucking stubby, mate. [points at Rick] You're a damn legend! [shouts out] Charlene, bring our ripper legends some stubbies and a pack of menthols!

[stoned] Sii-ck.

Ahhh, Bendigo. Beautiful Bendigo.

Yeah... Bendigo.

[pleasing sigh] What do ya see round here, Morty? [Morty looks around]

I see... trees, scrubs... N-nothing, really.

[pause] So? Where's the cube? [Morty pauses for a long beat]

I don't know, you're the one who said it was in Bendigo.

What the fuck are you talkin' about, Morty? I never said that.

What do you mean? Why are we here, then?

I don't know. I was following you, Morty.