Fear Hole Demon quotes from Rick and Morty

Fear Hole Demon

For guys like you -- y'know, who've seen it all -- there's only a few real fears left to conquer, and one of them is right. Down. Here.

Okay, what the hell?

Y-- Yeah, this is punching down. Denny's is a nice chain that gives people starchy food when they're up late.

It's a hack joke, buddy.

Fear Hole Demon

Nope, this is the place! Good luck to both of you, I'm gonna get myself a Slam.

He just... wanted a ride, right?

He certainly took us for one.

So, what are you? Like, the Hole? The Hole's promoter? The-- The Hole's intern?

Fear Hole Demon

Is there a Hole here?

Right. I-I'm-- I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no Hole, or that there is a Hole. What difference would it make?

Fear Hole Demon

Hm. You are hard to scare.

And Rick isn't. Right? The-- The Hole's gonna like, suck on him forever because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?

Fear Hole Demon

Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive. I doubt your grandpa has more fear than the average asshole at a Denny's.

[offscreen] Hey!

Fear Hole Demon

[to Patron] Sorry. [to Morty] If anything, he seems pretty brave! Certainly not afraid to die. Maybe that makes his fear extra... delicious. [takes a long swig of coffee.]

So what? He's scared of love?

Fear Hole Demon

Everyone's scared of love, dipshit, you learn that in your twenties. It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be... terrified of happiness.

Dumb.

Fear Hole Demon

You're dumb. That's why you're not scared to be happy. The smarter you are, the more you know. Happiness is a trap; it can't last forever. Let's say you meet the love of your life - well, it's still gonna end. It's inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. Whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they're incompatible, or maybe the ol' stranger in a bar that says the things that need to be said to that person, that night. The point is, happiness always ends. Best case scenario - think about this, best case - is that you die at the same time. Yikes.

Can't the Hole just let me go, then? Sounds like I don't matter...

Fear Hole Demon

You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry, Rick will die before accepting happiness. After that, we'll chase you with some clowns or some dumb shit like that, but grandpa? [chuckles] Yummy-yummy grandpa's gonna die. Just. Like. Diane. [laughs maniacally as lightning flashes]

Maybe there's no way out? Maybe we were born here?

C'mon, we're gonna get through this.

I-I'm staying here--

No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you.

What did-- What did you say?

I said I'm not leaving you in here. C'mon, you're irreplaceable!

What?

Oh, my God! I-I-I know what I'm afraid of! I-I'm afraid that you'd never say that in real life! I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole, you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me! Y-You'd just stand there and watch! This entire thing has been about me! You're not even in the Hole, are you?!

Fear Hole Demon

Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty. Your fear of relying on Rick has been... delicious.

DEAR GOOOOOOD!!!