Eileen Roberts-Riggerson quotes from Regular Show

Eileen, did you have a good time?

Eileen

Oh, Rigby! That was the best and only prom I've ever been to! [happily hugs him]

Sherm

[doubtfully proud] What you did back there was really impressive, Rigby. I mean, it showed initiative. Maybe you have changed. So, uh… [shrugs] I guess you can borrow the car whenever you want.

Thanks, Dad. Though, I probably should get a driver's license first.

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[everyone is complaining that they're in space now]

WHY AM I STILL WEARING THIS THING?! [takes it off and breaks it]

There's no cell service.

[whining] I need to call my wife, how am I gonna call my wife?! [sees that his phone has no service]

Eileen

[watches the Earth far away] Be careful what you write in your dream journal, Eileen. You might just get it.

Oh, no! I'm lost forever! We're going to starve to death and die!

We gotta press the button again!

[grabs Rigby] No! We gotta calm-

[Rigby jumps off Mordecai and press the button]

[pressing the button while he's whining] GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! My high school graduate, I'm too young to die in space!

[everyone is still complaining]

Stop! [calms down everyone] Everybody, calm down. We've done this before guys. Last time we got trapped in the dome, we panicked. Right? But then we banned together and figured it out. We can't fall apart now. We are going to figure out how to get home. But we have to survive first. All we have to do is to make it one day at a time,

Mordecai is right, we'll handle this like we handle everything else, with a morning meeting.

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Col. Rawls

I see one guy who isn't jazzed.

So, we're being forced to do this?

Col. Rawls

Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.

[frustrated] Well, I don't volunteer! [leaves the room]

Col. Rawls

That's different.

Eileen

Why can't Benson see that this is going to be really cool?

He's afraid to try something new.

The park wouldn't be the same without him.

We gotta get him on board.

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Cool, bunk beds.

Benson, check it out cool pillows.

Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.

Eileen

Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.

Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.

What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.

[sarcastically] Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. Muscle Man, what about Starla?

Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. [holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time -Starla"]

Well, Fives, what about Celia?

Ditto. [pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia"]

[agitated] I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us! MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!! [furiously storms out]

This is gonna be harder than we thought.

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You can't be serious, Benson.

You're really gonna give up, now?

I've been telling you guys for the past two hours, you're not gonna change my mind. As soon as I finish this space panini, I'm outta here. [eats panini] There, I'm done.

If you really want to go, I guess we can't stop you, but, you should at least watch this before you leave. We all put this video together. We think it might change your mind before staying.

How did you make this?

Eileen

Don't you remember that really cool editing bay we saw on the tour? There were so many VCR's!

[sighs] I know what this is. It's a tape full of sappy memories that it's supposed to convince me to stay, show me where I belong. Well, it won't work!

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[a disheveled Benson inserts his dusty VHS tape in a player, it plays to see Mordecai holding the camera with Earth in the background]

Hey, Benson. Um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay. [Benson starts crying]

It just wouldn't be the same without you. [cut footage to Rigby]

I won't be able to keep up with work without you breathing down my neck. [cut to Muscle Man]

And who am I gonna have wing-eating contests with, huh? [Fives pops up behind him]

I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your work. It's really inspiring. [Benson wipes his crying face; Eileen holds the camera]

Eileen

Hey, Benson. I don't know you very well, but I do know you mean a lot to these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping Rigby from blowing something up.

It's true! I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with. [cut to Pops]

We all really look up to you, but also, you are our friend. And we'll miss you a lot, and...

[Pops starts crying loudly, Benson cries out in his sadness. Rigby places camera with the crew and Eileen]

All right, you get it. We'll miss you, so... don't go, all right?

Yeah, Benson. We can't do this without you.

[The title card appears that says "Space needs you, Benson!" and then the screen squiggles]

[scared] I made a huge mistake. [yells] I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPACE!!!

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My bed. How did this happen?

[flashback]

I guess we'll never know.

Bah, I need a new bed.

You know, I need one too.

Eileen

I never had a bed at the park.

My bed turned into a computer.

Ugh! As if it wasn't enough for them to blow up the Space Tree and chase us halfway into the next sector, most of us don't have a place to sleep! Before we continue our mission, we're gonna get new beds. Eileen, plot a course to the closest bed store!

Eileen

Uh…I'm not 100% sure how to do that.

Eileen, figure out how to plot a course to the closest bed store!

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UBUMÄK Bird Greeter

[leaps in front of the Park gang] Howdy, folks! [Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson scream in surprise] Welcome to UMÄK's intergalactic flagship. Your stores for modern furniture that's not only inexpensive, it's durable, too!

MRMordecai & Rigby

[laughing] Wooden butt.

UBUMÄK Bird Greeter

And make sure you check out our cafe and have one of our famous meatball subs! Iiit's meat!

Eileen

What's the question mark for?

UBUMÄK Bird Greeter

Never mind that, here's a map. [gives Eileen a map before she opens it]

There. Beds. Sector 1-15-Z. Is that far?

UBUMÄK Bird Greeter

Yes! Now you better get movin'!

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Eileen

[as Rigby rides on a roller coaster bed] Rigby, there's no way I'm buying that bed!

Oh, come on! It's the thrill you've always wanted on a bed.

[looking at an iron bed] I'm not sure about this one.

[The iron bed scans Pops, making a hole shaped like him, and he tries it out]

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Rigby! [Rigby wakes up with a startled gasp] We're rocketing through space at warp speed, and you're asleep at the controls?!

It's on autopilot. That means I don't have to push any buttons. And believe me, I tried to push a lot of different buttons.

Eileen, how close are we to the rendezvous point?

Eileen

We should be coming out of warp right about... [presses a button causing the dome to exit warp drive] now.

It's just empty space.

Maybe Buttons McGee over here sent us to the wrong coordinates.

Wow, Skips, that's a really insightful name for Rigby.

Thanks. I've been reading some books.

Wait. What's that? [twists a knob to zoom in]

FCFemale Computer Voice

Alpha Dome found. Piloted by Mary Stone, John…

Alpha Dome?

It's the first dome sent into space.

Yeah, I know.

Then why were you asking?

I wasn't asking. I was just surprised.

It sounded like you were asking.

I wasn't asking!

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[singing] Breakfast cake, cake, cake cake cake. Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! [he sees everyone in the dining room doing nothing] Where's cake?

Eileen

With Pops.

Where's Pops?

He left a note. [gives the note to Rigby]

[reads the note] "Dear friends, I've gone to see my evil brother. Cake fixes everything. You'll see. Sincerely, Pops."

He's going to get himself killed.