Dude, Margaret's important to me. I can't just forget her.
RigbyOkay, okay. You don't have to forget her, but you have to get over her for real. Staying like this is messed up, and is messing you up. I want my friend back.
Well, if you were a real friend, you'd understand.
Rigby
I am your friend. You would realize that, if you weren't such a sad sack chump!
(Enraged that Rigby called him a sad sack chump, Mordecai angrily stops the car and violently shoves Rigby out of the car and furiously drives away)
Rigby
Ah, man! (Rigby sighs and starts running after him)
[Jack asks V.I.C.K.I. to shut down the arm cannon, then he shoots Mordecai and Rigby, then Benson pushes Mordecai and Rigby to save their lives, and V.I.C.K.I. destroys his car]
JJack
Whoo! Bummer about your car, man! At least that explosion was pretty awesome. Totally satisfied my violent urges, you know what I'm saying? Hey, can I get the other 250 bucks?
JJack
Brain check. Got it, Brah. [Police get Jack, then he acrobat backwards into the bushes]
Thanks for saving us, Benson!
Rigby
Yeah, thanks, man!
Damage to the house, damage to my car — my bus fare for the NEXT MONTH!!! YOU'RE PAYING FOR ALL OF IT!!!!
[Mordecai and Rigby groan, as Benson leaves in fury]
Rigby
He didn't say to clean up this mess, but--
[sighs] Yeah, let's get started.
Rigby
Oh Mordecai, check this out.
[they both lift up the sparkling unscathed windshield, with Muscle Man and Fives passing by]
Told you my guy was good.
Oh, hey, Benson. Hey, Skips.
You want to explain why my phone is LEAKING?!?!
Rigby
Yeah, we ment to give it back, but then a bunch of... different stuff... happened.
Different stuff?! You mean like the garbage that's all over this room?!
MRMordecai & Rigby
Uhh...
This place is a BIOHAZARD!! I want both of you to clean it up NOW!!!
Both of us?! Rigby's the one who's the slob! Look it his chimichanga! [slush]
Rigby
Well, Mordecai even worse! Look at his junk at the corner! [no junk near Mordecai's bed]
[Now red] I don't care who's responsible! But you're gonna have to clean this room if you wanna keep living here, for FREE!!!
"Rigby's to-do list"? "Stay cool. Don't ever change. Have a great summer"? [Rigby snatches the paper back]
Rigby: Okay, fine. [crumbles the paper again] Garbage Hoops then. Who ever misses the trash can first has to clean the room.
Rigby
Come on, Mordecai what's the big deal? It's just a little game. You're afraid of a little game?
This is your mess, Rigby. Just clean it up!
Rigby
But it's our room. What's yours is mine, what's mine is-- [Mordecai grunts and snatches the paper back, flips the trash can over and slides it over to the other side of the room. He then throws the paper in a good aim to the trash can.]
Rigby
Okay, sure. [Rigby gets another crumbled paper and then warms up for the throw by also grunting.]
Rigby
Alright, alright! [He then closes his eyes, pants a little then throws the paper as good as he could, but then he ends up making him miss to get a hit at the center of his bedroom.]
Rigby
[runs away] Later!
[By not liking the idea of him almost leaving, Mordecai tackles Rigby]
DUDE! Garbage hoops was your idea. You lost, and now you have to clean the room. I'm leaving. [Rigby starts to glare while Mordecai leaves slamming the door shut, startling Rigby.]
[Rigby whines while leaving his room and coming downstairs, where Thomas is watching the TV]
Rigby
Thomas?
I'm Not gonna clean your room, dude.
Rigby
[Rigby whines even more while Thomas tries to turn up the volume even more on the TV]
CCommercial
Bobby, why so glum?
BBobby
Mom's having another baby and I have to share my room with it.
CCommercial
Another baby? Bummer, you should try 'Wall Buddy'! Wall Buddy lets you divide your space! Once! Twice! Even three times a room!
BBobby
Whoa! Wall Buddy's awesome!
CCommercial
Buy now and you will receive Wall Buddy's voice activation at no additional charge!
[Bobby's baby brother is seen crying]
BBobby
Wall Buddy, help me out!
[Wall Buddy makes a wall around Bobby's brother]
BBobby
Now my mom could have as many babies as she wants! Thanks, Wall Buddy!
[Bobby makes a wink ,which ends the commercial]
Rigby
Great. Even that baby has his own room.
[Enraged screaming] MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!
Rigby
Now before you say anything, we DID do what you said.
Yeah, we cleaned up Rigby's— I mean... OUR mess. So you can't fire us.
Rigby
Immunity, son!
SO WHO CAN I FIRE FOR ALL THE DAMAGE YOU TWO DID TO THE PARK?!?!
[Short pause, then after a few seconds, Mordecai and Rigby point at each other, trying to blame each other for the damage.]
Maybe if you just reminded us one more... (Benson throws his hat in Mordecai's face.) Uh!
I shouldn't have to remind you at all! You two never listen to me and I'm sick of it!
Rigby
Don't be mad, Benson.
Mad? I got mad the last time you ignored me. This time I'm...I'm...deeply offended! And now, I have six pounds of cheese and not one tortilla! What kind of quesadilla can you make with that, huh?! WHAT KIND?!
You can't make a quesadilla without tortillas; that's just cheese.
Thank you, Skips. So now, because of Mordecai and Rigby, here we all are, tired, hungry, nothing to eat. And if you two don't get those tortillas right now, YOU'RE FIRED!
Rigby
Hm-hm. So easy.
1 HOUR LATER...
Rigby
Done! [the bed collapses]
4 HOURS LATER...
[Rigby frantically hammers his bed]
8 HOURS LATER...
Rigby
Done! Thanks for your help, Skips.
Yeah, don't mention it. [leaves]
Rigby
NOW!
[all the park members, sans Benson and Rigby ambush Johnny Allenwrench with axes, and hack him to pieces. The camera pans out to see Benson and Rigby watching the whole process]
Rigby, you're getting ALL the promotions.
Rigby
YES!!
PROMOTION!
Wait, did he just say Rigby was getting ALL the promoti-?
THE END
[off-screen as the basketball goes through his office window, making a hole; outraged] OH, COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Rigby
[sighs] I need help. [inside the house…] I really messed this up for everyone. [sadly looks at the photo of him and his friends, then lowers it, seeing them all glaring annoyingly at him and walk off; sighs] Guess there's only one person who can help me now. [picks up the phone and calls a number] Hey, can you come over? I need your help.
[Later, Rigby sits outside of the house on the stairs and sees his brother, Don, pulling up in his corvette]
[steps out of his car; cheerfully] Rigbone! How's my big bro?
Rigby
[pleased] Thanks for coming, Don.
[walks up to him] Man, it's been a while. You look good. Gotta say, I'm a little surprised you called me. What's up?
Rigby
I'm in a lot of trouble, Don. There's these guys--
Oh, hey! Bank shot! [runs up to it] I haven't sen one of these since we were kids! [performs a perfect bank shot] Whoo! Good times. So, uh, what's the problem?
Rigby
I ran my mouth off to the wrong guys and now I'm in trouble. I gotta win a bank shot match. All my money's ridin' on it.
But you're great at this.
Rigby
Not anymore. I lost my touch. You're the only guy I know who's better at this than me. You gotta help me out.
Well, here. [passes the ball to his brother] Show me what you got.
[Rigby shoots the ball, but it hits the hoop, bounces off Rigby's head, and goes through Benson's office window, again, which was supported with cardboard]
[off-screen; outraged] Ugh, not again!
I see. We've got a lot of work to do.
Rigby
Well, let's get started.
Wait. Lemme get my workout gear on. (puts on a headband) Alright, let's go!
Regular Show · 562 quotes
