You ever wonder why we're here?
You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that's happened, you know what I've learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole or a pervert or a snob, or they're lazy or arrogant or an idiot or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to; you have to despise people on a personal level, not because they're red or because they're blue, but because you know them and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag.
...I meant, why are we out here in the sun when we could be standing down there in the shade?
Oh. Yeah, okay. Let's go stand in the shade.
(Church and Tucker had just killed Sarge) Okay, hey. We killed one of your guys, and you killed one of ours. That makes us even.
Actually, we killed Tex and Junior, and they killed Sarge. So technically, that means we killed two people and they only killed one. (Church kills him with the sniper rifle) Son of a bitch!
Okay! Now we're even! Seriously! (Blues point guns at Grif and Donut; Grif lobs a grenade, everyone scatters, Donut gets in the ghost) Every man for himself!
Caboose! Get in that tank and give us cover fire.
And don't shoot me this time!
Okay (immediately shoots Church)
Wait, what was that first part again?(Grif begins to destroy Caboose's tank) Abandon ship! Running, running, running! (tank blows up)
Don't worry Sister, I'll protect you.
Sarge, I thought you were dead!
I was dead, Doc revived me!
That's right! And if anyone else needs medical attention, I would be more than happy to hel- (Sarge kills him) Son of a bitch!
Oh, I'm sorry! Doc will be unable to assist anyone else. (Sister kills him) Ah, son of a bitch again. Medic!
Well Sister, this looks like it. I don't think we're gonna make it, the reds are on the attack, and now Doc is dead and can't help us.
(dying) Actually, I'm not dead! if you could just hand me my first-aid kit- (Tucker shoots him) Oh, son of a bitch!
And now that Doc is actually dead, I don't think we're gonna make it. I don't wanna die a virgin!
Wouldn't you rather spend your last few moments as a lover and not as a fighter?
I never thought about that, Uh-huh.
I've always wanted to go out-
Hey, uh, no offense, are you gonna keep talking or are we gonna see some action!
Bow Chicka Bow- (Grif shoots him) Ow!
Stay away from my sister!
Grif, I liked him! He was nice to me! (kills Grif)
(Donut runs her over with his ghost) Son of a bitch! I can't believe you'd hit a girl!
Whatever, bitch! Reow! (Caboose is running away, picks up a rocket launcher) Now it's time to pound some Caboose! Woo-hoo! (drives toward him; Caboose blows him up with the rocket launcher) Son of a bitch!
I won! I am the greatest! I beat everyone! And now, no one is left but me! (ghost lands on him, kills him) Son of a bitch.
Be careful Sarge, that stalagmite almost hit me!
Actually Grif, that was a stalactite. You see stalagmite's grow up from the ground.
I don't care, Donut. The point is that I almost got crushed by huge fucking-(A stalagsomething crushes and kills Grif)...Ow,
Congratulations Player!
You have winner!
Thank you for playing Red vs. Blue
Please play the Red vs. Blue 2
The adventure begins to continue again...
Coming Winter 2004 soon!
