[surprised by the graffiti on his jeep] Oh that's beautiful Mikey. Just beautiful.
It's not my fault! I've told you about those two psychopaths down the street.
What? A couple of 12-year-olds?
They start early these days!
S1Pilot
[Everyone at Justin's school stares at Brian's jeep with the word 'faggot' on it.]
Here we are sonny boy.
Be sure to come home right after school.
No lingering on the playground or in the locker room with the gym teacher.
Oh you did not tell him about that!
It's the most famous shower scene since Psycho.
JSJustin's schoolmate
[passes, screams at Justin] Hey Justin, wanna suck me off?
No! [Gets down from his jeep] But I'll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you won't sit down for a week!
When can I see you again?
You can see me right now.
I mean later, tonight.
Who knows where I'll be later tonight.
We better go.
Please?
I'll see you in your dreams.
Where have you been? Your mom called. I didn't know what to tell her. I said you were still asleep.
I just saw the face of God.
Huh?
His name is Brian Kinney.
S1[Episode 102]
So, uh, who's he look like?
Well he's got Brian's eyes and mouth, and Lindsay's nose.
If he's got Melanie's dick, we're in big trouble.
You should see the pictures I took, he's so adorable. In one of them he's actually playing with himself.
Who, Brian?
No, the baby! Imagine he's only been in the world about an hour and already he's pulling his pud.
S1[Episode 102]
Michael [voice-over]: Remember that story we all read in high school, you know the one about the prisoners chained in the cave? Plato or whoever? All they could see were shadows on a wall so after a while they started thinking that was reality. Well, in a way that's what Ted's like. It's been so long since he's had sex with someone he didn't download, he's forgotten that all those perfect bodies and perfect faces aren't real. That no one's really there, that they're only... shadows. Then again, who ever got anal warts in a coatroom?
S1[Episode 102]
Guess what I was doing last night.
Sleeping? Same as me.
Having sex. All night. With that guy I met, Brian Kinney. We did it 'til six in the morning... Well, aren't you shocked?
Not really.
Oh.
S1[Episode 102]
I could be a... a r-real man, if I wanted to. You know, just lower my voice, stop... gesturing with my hands, make sure my face is expressionless... never, never use words like "fabulous" or "divine"… talk about, I don't know, nailing bitches and R.B.I.'s. But I'd rather my flame burn bright — than be some puny little pilot light.
S1[Episode 102]
We need a secret code word like "Shazam" so that if I get in a tight spot, you can come in and rescue me.
A tight spot. How about "butt-plug?"
"Butt-plug" might be a little hard to work into a conversation.
Because that's what you are pretending you're one of them.
I couldn't help it!
You could have told her the truth instead of acting like a scared little faggot. You should have just said, "I take it up the ass sweetheart, deal with it."
S1[Episode 102]
[Melanie and Lindsay ask Brian to sign a life insurance policy]
It's simply in case something happens to you.
Like I'm decapitated at a railroad crossing? Or burned beyond recognition in some gas explosion? You know, I can just imagine the grizzly deaths you've conjured up for me.
Like, in case you get sick.
Ah, even better.
Considering your life, I mean, when's the last time you were tested?
Six months ago. I was negative.
That's 26 weeks and 182 one-night stands.
S1[Episode 102]
There's only two kinds of straight people in this world: the ones that hate you to your face, and the ones that hate you behind your back.
S1[Episode 102]
So Dawson, how are things down at the creek?
S1[Episode 102]
You know, I'm getting a little sick of people telling me what's my responsibility. If Lindsay and Melanie want to go off and have a kid, that's their responsibility. If what's-his-name, Justin, wants to go out and pick up guys while he's still in high school, that's his responsibility. My responsibility is to myself! I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing!
S1[Episode 102]
So, you going out cruising after you drop me off?
No, I've been invited to an all-night orgy.
Woo! Sounds hot!
If you must know I am going back to my gay apartment, taking off my gay clothes and getting into my gay bed.
S1[Episode 102]
I just left a complete stranger in my apartment to come and talk to you so don't run away from me. We need to get something straight.
You don't do boyfriends.
Mikey's been talking to you.
You'll fuck anyone! He's ugly. You don't even know him. And I-- I really thought--
Justin. I've had you. What happened last night, it was for fun. You wanted me, and I wanted you. That's all it was.
A fuck?
Well, what did you think it was? Look, I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. And then they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go find yourself a pretty little girl... and get married.
That's not what I want. I want you.
You can't have me. I'm too ol-- You're too young for me. You're 17, I'm 28.
Twenty-nine.
All right, 29. All the more reason. Now go do your homework. [Walks away]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.