Michael [voice-over]: The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact, they say men think about sex every 28 seconds. Of course, that's straight men. Gay men, it's every 9. You could be at the supermarket or the laundromat, or buying a fabulous shirt, when suddenly you find yourself checking out some hot guy. Hotter than the one you saw last weekend or went home with the night before, which explains why we're all at Babylon at 1 in the morning instead of at home in bed. But who wants to be at home in bed? Especially alone, when you could be here, knowing that at any moment you might see Him. The most beautiful man who ever lived. That is, until tomorrow night.
Michael [voice-over]: Who’s told the truth since they invented cyber sex?
When did 70's night become 80's night?
I remember this song from high school. Talk about feeling ancient.
Speak for yourself, honey. I was a mere child.
[referring to a hot guy] My God, have you ever seen anything more beautiful?
Venice. At sunset.
Fine. You go down the Grand Canal, I'll go down on him.
Michael [voice-over]: Emmett can be a little campy. Okay, a lot campy. But you've got to admit, these days it takes real guts to be a Queen in a world full of commoners.
Michael [voice-over]: Ted's this really smart guy and he's got a really big heart. Only, nobody here is interested in the size of that organ.
Why am I wasting my time staring at a bunch of over pumped princesses with IQ's smaller than their waists...
[Ted freezes as a hot guy walked past him]
Jesus look at him!
Michael [voice-over]: Like I said, it's all about sex. Unless you're having it. And then it's all about "will he stay?" "will he go?" "how am I doing?" "what am I doing?" Unless of course, you're Brian Kinney. Then it's "who gives a fuck what you think? You're lucky to have me."
We need to go. We want to eat.
[Brian is receiving oral sex from a guy in the back room of Babylon.]
I'm just gonna give him my number.
What'd you do, write it on your penis? How long is this gonna take?
[looks at the face of the guy] Ten minutes. Tops.
That was quick.
Not when you've had as much practice as he's had.
I got bored.
I know, getting your dick sucked can be so tedious.
[Brian spots Justin]
Michael [voice-over]: And that's when it happened. When he came along.
Brian [to Justin]: How's it going? Had a busy night?
Just uh, checking out the bars, you know. Boy Toy. Meat Hook.
Meat Hook? Really? So you're into leather?
[hesitates] Sure.
Where you heading?
No place special.
I can change that.
Do you like Special K?
It's okay. I like Cheerios better.
I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas.
Brian [to Justin]: So are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying?
Oh my God, look. He must've followed us.
Christ! It's just what I need.
Honey, it's what we all need.
[Michael shakes his head, ready to go into his house.]
[stops Michael] Hey, when was last time you got laid?
[Michael opens his mouth, doesn't know how to respond.]
My point exactly. If you can't remember, then it's time.
So what do you like to do?
Do? I don't know. Watch TV, play Tomb Raider.
[laughs] I mean in bed.
Oh. [smiles] This is fine.
Are you a top or a bottom?
[hesitates] ...Top. And bottom.
Oh, you're versatile then.
And ambidextrous, which was really confusing at first 'cause I can never figure out which hand to throw with.
[nods] Do you like to rim?
Sure. I love it.
Great. Go to it.
[Justin looks confused, non-responsive]
Well?
Um... What exactly do you mean?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.