Queer as Folk (US) Season 1 quotes

Michael

I wished for a moment that I too could be a lesbian. But then I remembered I'd have to eat pussy, so I said forget it!

Brian

Christ. He'll probably grow up to be straight.

Michael

All the more reason he needs his Dad!

Lindsay

Why does it matter to you that Gus is circumcised?

Brian

It matters that he's been in this world less than a week and already there are people who won't accept him the way he is. They'd even mutilate him rather than let him be the way he is. The way he was born. Well, I'm not gonna let that happen.

Debbie

Em, honey, you should try to eat at least some of your protein off a plate.

Emmett

I read that for every thirty pounds you lose, you gain an entire inch of cock.

Debbie

So if you just drop another 90 pounds, you'll have a four inch pecker!

Michael

And for once, it was us.

Melanie

I don't care what men think about their dicks!

Daphne

That's Brian? God, he's so old! And skinny! You could do way better than that!

Debbie

Sweetie, you know that I approve of your lifestyle.

Michael

Maybe I don't want you to approve, maybe I want you to go home and cry.

Michael

What the fuck did you do that for? You practically got us engaged!

Brian

Well, I want to dance with the bride at her wedding. And Tracy, too.

Emmett

I was talking to Dungeon Master Don who wants to mummify me - have you noticed that the world is getting weirder?

Emmett

Why do I always give my heart away to trash?

Michael

Blake just winked at you.

Ted

He's got some crystal meth in his eye.

Loving someone's not the same as knowing them.

Brian

You know, he's the first. The first almost-dead guy I sort of had sex with.

Michael

You had sex with Ted?

Emmett

You never had sex with Ted!

Michael

When did you have sex with T--

Brian

Sort of sex. At this semi-orgy.

Michael

It could be us.

Brian

No, it could not be us. Because we know better. We know not to believe pretty little blonde boys that tell you that it's really good shit. 'Cause that's what they all say. Ted didn't know that. And he didn't know that you only do drugs with your friends because they're the only one's that give a fuck about you.