Noel Fielding quotes from QI

Stephen Fry

What comes flat-packed and takes 4 months to assemble?

Colin Lane

IKEA, IKEA dining table.

Stephen Fry

We thought of that, I'm afraid. Sorry: [Australian Accent] sorry, Lano.

Stephen Fry

Where is the world's largest branch of IKEA?

Noel Fielding

Wembley?

Colin Lane

Australia?

Stephen Fry

Yes. Which city? You'll be annoyed.

Colin Lane

Sydney?

Stephen Fry

Yes, Sydney. As Melbourner, you'll be properly annoyed...

Colin Lane

[between gritted teeth] Great city. Lovely people.

Stephen Fry

...he said between clenched teeth.

Noel Fielding

I did some gigs there and I played the Opera House. And I was in the Opera House, doing some press. And I looked out of the window thinking, "Where's the Opera House?" Actually scanning the horizon. "Where's the Opera House gone? You're in it, you idiot!"

Ross Noble

You should have gone [looks up] "Whoa!"

Stephen Fry

Bicycling did cause a lot of men to get rather angry and concerned about the fact that women were doing it. Do you know the reason?

Cariad Lloyd

Cos they were free. They were allowed to move.

Stephen Fry

Yes. Exactly.

Cariad Lloyd

If they move, what else are they gonna do? Vote? Think? Be allowed on panel shows? No! We’ve got to stop this! It’s dangerous.

Noel Fielding

I like the idea of the man coming home early from work and the wife’s in bed with a bicycle.

Stephen Fry

What colour is the sun?

Noel Fielding

I’ve heard it’s green.

Stephen Fry

Not bad.

Noel Fielding

Tartan?

Stephen Fry

Oh, you were doing so well. Tartan.