Shawn Spencer quotes from Psych

Shawn

I just want to beat Gus and Lassiter!

Juliet

And catch the killer?

Shawn

Yeah sure, if that's what it takes.

Juliet

Whoever said work was supposed to be fun?

Shawn

Ron Jeremy, for starters.

Gus

Shawn, this is 2010.

Shawn

Heh. Nice try, Gus. That would mean we're at war with the machines!

Shawn

Your negativity... is clogging up my psychic signals. Do you mind keeping [the incredibly flirty receptionist Tanya] busy while I attempt to unclog them?

Juliet

And how am I supposed to do that?

Shawn

Gus would turn into Smooth Gus and try to pick her up.

Juliet

I am not hitting on a girl!

Shawn

Why, does that scare you? Or does that not scare you...? And does that scare you?

Juliet

I am itching to get back out into the field, even if it means babysitting Shawn.

Shawn

Babysit? Really, Jules? Come on.

Juliet

Shawn, what have you done today?

Shawn

Well, let's see. I watched some Phineas and Ferb, took a nap, had a snack. I'm a little tired.

Juliet

Exactly.

Shawn

I just want to beat Lassie and Gus!

Juliet

And catch the killer.

Shawn

Sure, yeah if that's what it takes.

Shawn

Gus, get with the times. It's 2008.

Gus

It's 2010.

Shawn

Heh. Nice try. That would mean we're at war with the machines!

Shawn

Woody, in your professional opinion, how do I die?

Woody

Murder. Gangland-style execution, we never find your head.

Shawn

That's a shame.

Woody

[to Gus] You slip in a tub.

Shawn

[Speaking to Tanya] These are cops, this [pointing to Gus] is Deon Richmond--

Gus

No, I'm not.

Shawn

I'm a psychic. I see things and I feel things.

Do you wanna feel what you see?

Shawn

I can't lose with this girl.

Shawn

Roy... May I call you Phil?

I'd rather you didn't.

Shawn

Fair enough.

What are you guys, UFO chasers?

Shawn

Nothing as ridiculous as that. We're psychic detectives.

Shawn

The only thing that we were blinded with was...

Gus

Science!

Shawn

Never gets old.

Gus

Nope.

Gus

We want to know what you found in his stomach.

Woody

The object was a flash drive.

Gus

Now when you say flash drive, is that coroner code for an alien embryo that hatches in people's ear?

Woody

No, that's the word starfish.

Shawn

Thanks, Woody. You stay creepy.

Woody

You know I will.

Shawn

Guess who is now the proud owner of this home, along with the 700 similar ones that make up this tiny town.

Gus

Shawn, if you say us, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Shawn

What is the world's coolest truck doing here?

Gus

Whatever it is I highly suggest we do not touch it. [Hears truck start and looks up to see Shawn in the driver's seat.] Shawn!

Shawn

Gus, the keys were already in the ignition. What was I supposed to do?

Gus

Not start it.

Shawn

Well, it's not that easy.

Gus

Actually it is.

Lassiter

Come on chief, let me run with this one.

Henry

[seated in a corner] What if we let them work together? Separately, but together?

Shawn

[pointing at Henry] That lonely bald guy in the corner makes no sense.

Gus

Am I the only person that's freaked out he's been sitting there the whole time?