[To Santa Claus in his workshop] Maybe you didn't check the list twice!
Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever!
She must've snuck up here and switched the lists!
PMPrincess Morbucks
NUH-UH!! Santa, don't listen to them! [Points at the Powerpuff Girls] They're just jealous 'cause they got coal!
[The Girls stare at her angrily]
PMPrincess Morbucks
They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, I'm prettier, and I'm better than them! So they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl! THAT MAKES THEM NAUGHTY!! [Points at the Girls]
SCSanta Claus
You mean the Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good! I mean, REALLY good!
[The Girls smile and nod]
SCSanta Claus
Yeah! Yeah! See that explains all the flying and floating and stuff!
PMPrincess Morbucks
AHEM!! [Santa turns around] BUT I SHOULD BE A POWERPUFF GIRL!!! ME! Not them! Me! MY DADDY SAYS I'M BETTER! MY DADDY SAYS I'M THE BEST! AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A FATHEAD FATHEAD TO SEE THAT, I'LL TELL MY DADDY! [Flies into another room] AND HE'LL COME AND BUILD A PARKING LOT OUTTA THIS CHEAP.. LITTLE.. [Kicks 2 toys] ARTS AND CRAFTS... [Throws another toy] POPSICLE STAND OF YOURS!! [Breaks another toy] GET IT?! [Flies up to Santa] SO, YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHATEVER I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 'CAUSE MY DADDY SAYS I GET WHATEVER I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT IT! AND IF THAT MEANS ALL OF THOSE LOUSY, WORTHLESS, SECOND RATE BARGAIN BASEMENT BRATS OF THE WORLD DON'T GET ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, THEN THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONNA HAVE TO ME!! 'CAUSE I AM BETTER THAN THEM!! AND IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE!! [Grabs a note and puts it up to Santa's face] SO PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SANTA CLOD!!!
[There is total silence for a few seconds; suddenly, Santa gets angry]
SCSanta Claus
LIST SCHMIST!!! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' LIST TELLIN' ME WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE!! [Grabs the note and starts tearing it up] YA KNOW WHY?! 'CAUSE I'M SANTA CLAUS!! CHECK IT! PRINCESS... [Grabs Princess by the ear] YOU HAVE GONE AND WORKED OFF MY LAST NERVE!
PMPrincess Morbucks
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! [Starts rubbing her ear]
SCSanta Claus
I have no other choice. You are so rotten, SO despicable, so naughty, I'm putting you on the... [Points up at a really big and tall list] PERMANENT NAUGHTY PLAQUE!!! BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMM!
[Princess gasps and Santa puts her name on the list; Princess screams in terror]
PMPrincess Morbucks
YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I'M TELLING MY DADDY!!!
[Princess flies out the window; Santa presses his nose and Princess loses her costume and powers and screams and falls into snow]
PMPrincess Morbucks
NO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!
[Princess flies in front of Buttercup, who is shocked; Princess then slaps her]
[Princess slaps her again]
[Princess slaps her once again]
[An annoyed Buttercup jumps on Princess' back and kicks her far away from herself]
PMPrincess Morbucks
Thanks, Einstein!
[Buttercup stares at Princess, but then Blossom and Bubbles grab her]
[from offscreen, to "Deck the Halls"] Christmas time is in a few days, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! [taping up the sleigh picture] Santa'll give me lots of toys, yay, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
[writing a wish list] Bubbles! I'm trying to concentrate!
I'm only trying to spread some Christmas cheer.
[places a gingerbread house centerpiece she made on the table] Doing what?
Writing my wish list for Santa.
Are you crazy?! You're only giving him two days to prepare - and that's even if he gets it on time!
Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, smarty-pants?
Hah, that's after Christmas.
December 26, last year. [blows a raspberry]
[realizing] Oh, no! What if I don't get my official Red Raider carbine-action two-hundred-shot range-model air rifle?!
PMPrincess Morbucks
[offscreen] Hah! Who would want a stupid old BB gun?
PMPrincess Morbucks
Besides, you'll shoot your eye out. Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl!
Don't hold your breath, Princess.
PMPrincess Morbucks
What?! Why?!
Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice.
PMPrincess Morbucks
[gasps] Nuh-uh!
PMPrincess Morbucks
Nuh-uh!
PMPrincess Morbucks
Nuh-uh!
PMPrincess Morbucks
Prove it!
You bought the city and legalized crime!
You hired Mojo to try and destroy us!
You gave us a bomb for our birthday!
You teamed up with three villains and went on a crime spree!
You tricked our friend Robin into stealing, and then you tattled on her!
You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous, and you don't care who you step on to get what you want!
PMPrincess Morbucks
And your point is?
[annoyed] Ugh. [sit down]
[The school bell rings]
The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways, or all you're ever gonna to get from Santa is a big fat lump of coal in your stocking. [walks off with her sisters]
[Princess is very mad, and kicks the Santa toy]
[Later that night, Princess is tucked in her bed]
PMPrincess Morbucks
Nanny!
NNanny
[nervously] Yes, sweetheart?
PMPrincess Morbucks
Am I naughty?
NNanny
[pause] Time for bed. Lights out. [runs off and the lights go out as the door to the hall slams]
[Pause]
PMPrincess Morbucks
Wait! I need another pillow! [pause; silence] Fine! I'll just go get it myself! [gets up from her bed to get another pillow from her closet, but gets crushed by a bunch of coal] Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! [throws a piece of coal; later suited up in burglary outfit; kicking a piece of coal along herself while walking down the hallway] And all these years, I thought that coal in my stocking came from Daddy's coal mine! [follows coal down a staircase] Who does that blimp think he is, denying me presents?! Well, this time, I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! [gets into a cart driven by her driver] Well, I'll show him, and I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice! [gets off the cart and boards her private plane]
She entered her jet, to her man gave a yell, and away Princess went, with a plot, I can tell.
PMPrincess Morbucks
To the North Pole! And step on it! [slams the hatch shut and the plane takes off]
And left no one aware of the web she would weave, not even the girls, preparing for Christmas Eve.
PMPrincess Morbucks
Now, if I were a big, fat, bearded oaf, where would I keep a stupid list? [finds Santa's nice list] "Nice. Agatha Aarons, Arnold Adams..." [mumbles] "Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup"? [more mumbling] "Mitch Mitchelson"?! You gotta be kidding me! [more mumbling] "Zachary Zimmerman." Where's my name? [finds a sticky note that bears the word "NAUGHTY" above a single name: hers. She gasps] "Naughty. Princess Morbucks."? [uses a pencil to edit the list and escape]
She spoke not a word; she had finished her work, and took leave of her lie with a satisfied smirk.
[The Girls trick the Rowdyruff Boys into stealing and destroying the weapons Princess shared with them during their brief truce; the Boys are helpless with laughter from the fun they had]
Dude... I can't bre... I can't breathe!
[chuckling] Well, Girls, the plan worked. We outwitted the dimwits once again.
[Obviously not getting it, Princess starts lecturing the Girls like a crazed sports coach]
PMPrincess Morbucks
WHAT WAS THAT?! I cannot believe what just happened! I mean, seriously, what a pathetic display of substandard superheroism! I mean, it wasn't like I bragged about you guys before, but you really STUNK!
[The Girls look slightly puzzled]
PMPrincess Morbucks
Where to begin?! I mean, that wasn't teamwork, I don't know what that WAS! Your complete lack of hand-eye coordination - they were landing right in front of you, and you couldn't even hit them! You practically rolled over and handed them the weapons! That is not Powerpuff material, Girls! I am very disappointed and concerned for the future of this team! Obviously, you lack the leadership skills to be a successful superhero team, so I will be filling the position of leader from now on! You guys have been riding on your reps way too long! Today was pitiful!
[As she goes on, the Boys continue laughing, while the Girls trade smiles and fly away]
PMPrincess Morbucks
And then you just stood there on the sidelines like losers! Losers! "Oh, yes, we're the Powerpuff Girls! We can do anything!" You can't even shoot straight! I give you everything you could possibly need to beat these guys, and you just sit there and [makes whiny noises] "I didn't hit them! I didn't hit them!" WELL, TRY AND HIT YOUR BARN, YOU IDIOTS!
Having dealt with the positive side of the spectrum, I decided to find the people who knew them on a working level: their evil counterparts. [cut to Princess Morbucks approaching her limousine with two beefy bodyguards] But this proved even more fleeting.
PMPrincess Morbucks
Sorry. No interviews!
[Cut to The Gangreen Gang who attack him, causing the camera view to shift erratically until he runs. Cut to a forest]
[waving his shotgun] GET OFFA MY PROPERTY, DAGNABIT!
Yeah, but wait, I just want to...
NO TRESPASSIN'! [swings the weapon; there is static]
[Cut to the observatory]
Mr. Mojo? Uh, hi. My name is Brian, and I'm making a documentary, and I'd like to talk with you...
[over intercom, impatiently] Can't talk, planning evil scheme.
The Powerpuff Girls · 276 quotes
