Phineas and Ferb · Season 1
You guys lost a platypus?
Yep.
Officer 3323. Tell Charlie we have a 1091P. Yeah, it's a platypus. Looks like a girl. MIA. [at Phineas and Ferb] Don't worry, boys. After a nice lunch at Mr. Slushy Burger, the Tri-State area's finest will be on the job.
By the way, our mom's also missing her earrings.
Which ones? The dangly topaz or the hoops?
The hoops.
Oh, that's a shame. We'll get right on it.
[To Jeremy] Why don't you watch some TV while you wait? Oh, hey. I've got some great baby movies of Candace. [baby cooing] Oh! There she is in the bathtub. [bubbles gurgle] Oops! Little bubbles.
Mom! Remember what we talked about? My fifth-grade graduation?
Fifth-grade graduation? What is she talking about?
Ugh! Just turn off the home movies!
[With her eyes closed] See?! see?! It's right there!
Oh, my goodness! [At this point, Candace gets a shocked expression on her face] Did you make these?
Uh... yeah.
[gasps] These are so much nicer than the ones I lost! [a fly buzzes and gets zapped by Linda's new "earrings"]
Awesome.
Thanks, boys. [at Candace, whose jaw has dropped, closing her mouth] Close your mouth, honey. You'll catch flies.
[Candace scowls as Linda walks out]
I may seem like a barmy ol' git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tooth, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of derring-do.
Translate?
When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.
PHINEAS! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my DEAD BODY!
[in a mad scientist voice] That's the idea! Bwah!
That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling Mom! [walks inside, but then pokes her head out the door] And I am NOT using the banana this time!
...You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?
[to Candace] I got to spend the whole day being showered with undivided attention from Phineas! It was wonderful.
Hiccups?
Finally, my irrational fear that a giant platypus will see me in my underwear is cured! [The Platypus Monster stomps past his house while the man is in his underwear] ...It's even worse than I thought...
No more annoying songs about moons!
I do find moon songs annoying. Continue.
It only has enough power to fire once, but don't worry [leans on ray gun] I've got it planned out. [fires laser]
[Laser hits a dam; dam floods the river]
No more annoying songs about dams?
Oh, but I like a good toe-tapping dam song.
Oh, this is just out of control. [takes out her cellphone] Mom, Mom!
Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys after the beep.
Uhhh! Mom, come home, quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a superfiend, I'm roasting them with laser vision, and... hey, what do you mean psychotic rant?!
Hi Phineas!
Whacha do- [Isabella hits him] Ow!
[Sweetly] Whacha Doin?
Come into the Phineas and Ferb Studios and we'll show you. :[Everyone but Buford and Isabella enters]
Hey Isabella about that Whatcha doin back there-
Upupupup! [miming talking with her hand] We'll talk about it later.
[after Perry accidentally hits a self-destruct button the Rainbowinator] You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self-destruct button in the first place.
[a butterfly flies into Perry's cone on his head. Perry sneezes] Bless you Perry the Platypus!
Hey Phineas, can I ask you something? Will you go to the dance--
'Scuse me, Phineas. Can I get you to sign some liability waivers?
Sure thing! Hold that thought, Isabella.
Sure. No prob.
Hey Phineas. You guys were great!
Thanks. You weren't too bad yourselves.
Oh, [giggle] thanks. So, would you like to go to the Night of the Falling Stars Girls' Choice dance tonight?
Sounds like fun.
Really?
Ferb, what's our schedule like? [Ferb gives a thumbs-up] Okay, we'll be there.
Both of you?
Yeah. Why don't you come by and we'll all walk over together.
Sure. No prob.
[After the sergeant falls over the cliff]
Do you think he'll be...
[juggling corn dogs with Ferb] Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!
Okay. Where did you get the-- Mom! Dad! Thank goodness! The strangest thing just happened.
[in Baljeet's voice] Fear not. Your parents are here now.
Huh?
[Camera zooms out to show Mom and Dad are puppets being controlled by a giant Baljeet]
The real shock is you're just noticing this now.
What?
[Camera zooms out even further to show Baljeet is actually a puppet controlled by the zebra from "The Ballad of Badbeard"]
I'm just as confused as you are, Kevin.
Candace, since I have no idea what will happen next, I need to tell you something. [holds onto Candance's hands] I love you, Candace Flynn. Will you marry me?
Oh, Jeremy! I always dreamt- Wait a minute. That's it! I'm dreaming!
That would explain the talking zebra.
Nah, I see him all the time. This, this is actually the freaky part. And it's all just been one...big...
[Cut to Candace in bed, she wakes up, gasping]
Dream! [pause] So none of that really happened. I never actually busted Phineas and Ferb. I am so happy.
Hey, Ferb! We should build a device that projects your dreams like a movie! I'd love to see what Perry dreams about.
[chatters]
Ooh, I almost forgot! Perry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.
Perhaps that's where he disappears to every day.
[They stare at Perry for a moment. Suddenly...]
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!
Hey, Wait, What are you doing? Hey!
Oh!
Oh!
Wait a minute. What's going on? I haven't even finished my cereal!
Agent P, your cover's been blown! You're going to have to relocate you!
[Screen flashes, cut to Perry waking up, laying on Phineas' bed. He quickly gets to his paws. Scene zooms out to reveal Phineas, he wakes up, too]
Ah, hey, Perry. What's wrong, boy? [pets him] You sounded like you were having a bad dream. It's okay now. Go back to sleep. [lies down and closes eyes, going back to sleep]
[Perry looks around the room, then at Phineas, before he smiles and curls back up going to sleep]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Phineas and Ferb pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
