So, you two have built a portal to Mars and you didn't even go through it yourselves?
Oh, we did...
But that's another story.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Ferb speaks Martian!
Tell them I want to walk alone.
Meht tuohtiw ton tub enif yas yeht.
MMartians
Arrabata Dutch!
They say fine, but not without them.
This may sound silly, but I thought you were avoiding me.
UGUnknown Guy
Actually, I've been trying to avoid you.
Do I know you?
UGUnknown Guy
No. That's how well it's been working! Unknown Guy is out. Peace!
I think we're all set to get
Alright, what are you two up to?
We just built a boat to find the Lake Nose Monster.
Quick kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you. Follow the train tracks north, you should hit Acreton by sundown. London, it's a college town. There, get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border. Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear.
BBob
Candace! Is this your lake nose monster?
Huh?
Surprise?
BBob
You're in big trouble, young man! [snaps fingers] OK! Just a little prankster, we're safe!
Look here, I wrote "big laundry" and I don't even remember what the reason was. I guess I assumed I'd remember, like it was some big genius idea... Big laundry, BIG LAUNDRY! It's crazy, I'm a crazy person.
Ok be cool and confident, cool and confident.
CCandace
Hey Jeremy! So, what do you think?
You look great!
WCaptain Weber
Oh! So, you're the famous Candace Flynn? Bob Weber.
CCandace
Thanks for the lifeguard job, Mr. Weber.
WCaptain Weber
MR. WEBER?! Pshaw! Mr. Weber is my father. Call me Captain Weber.
CCandace
Oh...ok.
WCaptain Weber
[snaps fingers] OK! You two take care of my beach now.
CCandace
Ok...
WCaptain Weber
[snaps fingers] OK! And watch out for Nosey. [laughs]
Uh...haha..haha...ok!
WCaptain Weber
[snaps fingers] OK! [echoes]
Oh, hey, Candace.
Did you get it? Did you get the proof that Nosey really exists?
I can honestly tell you that the ferocious man-eating lake monster does not exists in Lake Nose.
EEveryone
Aww!
GGuy
Aw, man!
Wait.
Hey, Candace!
What is going on here?
We made an animal translator. We'll tell you about it later. Right now, we're on a mission. Come on, guys.
See ya, Candace!
An animal translator?! I have had it up to here with stupid animals today! Why would you wanna know what stupid animals are saying? Oh, I can tell you what they'll say: "I'm an animal and I bite my own heinie!" "I've got a small cranial capacity!" "Look at me! I don't have opposable thumbs! I eat with my face!" "I sweat through my tongue!" "I'm a furry-flea bitten loser!" LIKE ANY OTHER ANIMAL ON THIS PLANET! [echoes, cuts to a rabid dog barking]
MTMan through speaker
Get her. [Candace runs off screaming in horror]
Look, Linda, I can see this, let's see... 24 cross, 5 letters, where's blank?
[The lair shows Perry lands on a chair. The entrance Perry entered is not shown]
[The Doofenshmirtz jingle plays; scene flips to Doofenshmirtz, rubbing his forehead]
EJEvil Jingle Singers
[singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Ugh, that stupid carnival is so loud I can't hear my own evil jingle! [turns to a quartet in a sound recording booth] Alright boys, take it from the top. Louder.
EJEvil Jingle Singer #1
A one, two…
EJEvil Jingle Singers
[singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Inco—
Oh, what now? [the quartet gets cut short by a loud crash from the ceiling into a pile of instruments; Perry staggers in, playing a banjo.] A banjo-playing platypus? [Perry puts on his hat] Perry the banjo-playing platypus?! Uh, take five, guys. Not you, Perry the Platypus.
Can't you just make up some kind of reducing cream or an amazing shrink ray device?
Well, we'll see what we can do, but we're not magicians.
I'm a freak. [starts to cry] I'll never be a Flawless Girl! [a single, giant tear drops from her face and falls to the ground as Ferb grabs an umbrella and puts it over him and Phineas to cover themselves] There's only one place where a girl like me will fit in: the oddball show! It was nice knowing you boys! Tell Mom and Dad I love them—from now on, I'll be living amongst the carnies! [tearfully runs off as Phineas and Ferb watch]
[to Perry] You see, back before I was evil, I was something a little less than evil: I was a bratwurst street vendor!
[Cuts to a short flashback of Doofenshmirtz's brautwurst stand, accompanied by an out of tune "Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst" jingle]
What? They had those!
All right, who added the 'evil' flavour?
[Everyone turns to stare at Baljeet]
It's curry. It's not inherently evil. [pauses out] Maybe a little spicy...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Phineas and Ferb pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.