Candace quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Candace

I have so much to learn.

Suzy

Well, now that you've watched the master at work, it's time for you to get yours.

Candace

Me? Oh, no! I'm not ready! I-I...

Suzy

What do you want?!

Candace

To bust my brothers?

Suzy

Is that a question, or a MISSION!?

Candace

A mission.

Suzy

So SAY IT!

Candace

I wanna bust my brothers!

Suzy

MEAN IT!

Candace

I wanna bust my brothers!

Suzy

OWN IT.

Candace

I WANNA BUST MY BROTHERS!

Suzy

Even better: Get them to bust themselves.

Candace

Get my brothers to bust themselves? Get my brothers to bust themselves... Get my brothers to bust themselves! GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELVES! GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELVES!

Suzy

GO! GO!

Candace

GET MY BROTHERS TO BUST THEMSELVES!

Quiet!

C'mon into the lab, and we'll get you fixed up.

Must Phineas and Ferb there's only one thing left to do.

Candace

Hey, boys! What'cha doin'?

Isabella

UGH! Do I even need to be here?!

Linda

Candace, you have to promise me that you won't obsess about Phineas and Ferb.

Candace

Yeah, sure Mom, I promise.

Linda

Don't just promise this time. Raise your right hand. Do you, Candace Gertrude Flynn, solemnly swear not to obsess about your brothers, or you'll suffer the Pharaoh's Curse?

Candace

The Pharaoh's Curse?

Linda

Yes or No?

Candace

Okay, yes.

Linda

Okay, now we can have fun.

Linda

So, what looks good to you?

Candace

Remember the Pharaoh's Curse! Wait, it doesn't count if she sees them herself! [to Linda] Hey, Mom? I bet you can't turn your head 180 degrees like an owl.

Linda

[turns her head] Nope, just ninety.

Candace

Hey, can you show me that twisty yoga move you do again?

Linda

Maybe after lunch, dear.

Candace

I'm curious what the back of your chair looks like, can you turn around and show me?

Linda

Okay, Candace, what's up?

Candace

MOM! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TURN AROUND!?!

Linda

Okay, you want me to turn around?! [turns around just after the floats leave] I'm turning around! Can we just eat lunch now?!

Candace

Fine...

Excuse me, are you Candace Gertrude Flynn?

Candace

Yes?

Curse you. [walks away]

Linda

I tried to warn you, honey!

Candace

Pfft, people and their silly trends. Hey mom, can I get a pink streak in my hair?

Linda

Why would you do that?

Candace

To express my individuality. Everyone's doing it!

Candace

Absolutely not! You were OFF grand entrance duty! Just go take care of the flowers while I order a cake. Got it?!

Phineas

Well, I guess we could-

Candace

JUST DO IT! And don't interrupt me. [walks away]

Phineas

Wow, she's good. I gotta have her do my wedding. Ferb, make a note.

Isabella

I got it!

Phineas

Okay, Candace, what can we do next?

Candace

Next?! What can you do NEXT?!

Phineas

Well, Aunt Tiana say that we should help and it is her wedding when you think about it.

Candace

Alright. But! No trampolines, no robots, no rollercoasters, no firework spectaculars, no native dancers, no running of the wildebeests—

Linda

Candace, where's the justice of the peace?

Candace

AW, NUTS! Ugh, just give me a minute.

Phineas

Look I just wanna say.

[whispering to a raw chicken] Go, go! You're free, little skin bird-

Candace

MOM!

Ooh! Candace, you scared the bagabbers outta me.

Linda

Candace, aren't you a little old for kiddie rides?

Candace

No, no I'm not! Check it out!

Linda

Well...I guess it does have rocking-back-and-forth and slowness?

Candace

I must repress my basic urges to bust.

Stacy

Repressing basic urges to bust is pretty responsible, isn't it?

Candace

Is it ever? Just look at my Mom!

Linda

[in the kitchen, staring at a cake] Cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food!

Linda

[offscreen] I don't believe it! [rolls down window] What on Earth?!

Candace

It's happening! Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you… what you've all been waiting for!

Look! It's a perfect metaphor that we should return to simpler times and values.

Candace

That's not exactly what I meant.

Ha! A prefect metaphor for history teaches us about our future.

Candace

That's pretty good, but no.

It's a metaphor for-

Candace

NOT EVERYTHING IS A METAPHOR!

Linda

Candace, what on Earth is going on here?!

Candace

Mom, you know all those times I've tried to fill you in on the crazy stunts Phineas and Ferb have been up to?

Linda

Yes, Candace.

Candace

Well, this is 1 of those times! You see, the Platypus is an animal.

Linda

[gasps upon sees the pioneer town] PHINEAS, FERB, Get out of here this- [Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher living room where the gang is playing a video game. From outside] -second!

Phineas

Hey, Mom's home! [Cut back to the Big Bust.]

Linda

I'm sorry, Candace. Now I know all that crazy exploits you were told me about were true.

Linda

That is it! You two are so…

bu-

-ub

Linda

…os era owt uoY !ti si tahT

Stacy

Candace, I am tired of taking the back seat to the totally unlikely chance that you'll bust your brothers. I want a best friend I can count on, so you're gonna have to choose: It's me or busting.

Candace

You're making me choose? You wouldn't dare!

Stacy

Ya-huh.

Candace

Ya-nothing! A real best friend would never do that to me.

Stacy

A real best friend wouldn't make mе do that to her.

Candace

Then I guess you're not my best friend!

Stacy

Not anymore!

Candace

Fine! [slams door]

Stacy

Fine!

Candace

Fine!

Stacy

FINE!

Candace

FINE! [Scene quickly changes to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated]

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Finally, the plumber!