Phineas quotes from Phineas and Ferb

Candace

Detectives. Perfect. I know what you're gonna do today. Track down my little Mary McGuffin!

Phineas

Piece of cake. [Ferb gives him a piece of chocolate cake] Ooh, chocolate! Thanks, Ferb. [to Candace] We'll have your little Mary McGuffin back here faster than you can say-hey, where's Perry?

Phineas

Ferb, you must have left your skateboard in England the last time we were there. I know! We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!

Lawrence

Why don't you just build a new skateboard?

Phineas

Nah, I don't think so.

Ferb

If it's all the same with you, Father, we're going to build the machine.

Phineas

What's that grinding sound?

Buford

Tuff Gum! Like the song says:

Pound nerds like a drum, stop a train with your thumb, it's Tuff Gum!

Phineas

Wow. Can I have some?

Buford

Nah, I don't think so. It's for bullies only.

Phineas

You got any regular gum?

Regular Gum!

Carl

But wait listen to this. It's a seemingly innocent voice recording of Phineas.

Phineas

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Carl

But if you play all those syllables backwards in a random order you get.

Phineas

Let's help Doofernshmirtz destroy the Tri-State Area.

Isabella

Well, that's weird that our floats are floating away.

Phineas

Yeah, well, they are called "floats".

Candace

Absolutely not! You were OFF grand entrance duty! Just go take care of the flowers while I order a cake. Got it?!

Phineas

Well, I guess we could-

Candace

JUST DO IT! And don't interrupt me. [walks away]

Phineas

Wow, she's good. I gotta have her do my wedding. Ferb, make a note.

Isabella

I got it!

Phineas

Okay, Candace, what can we do next?

Candace

Next?! What can you do NEXT?!

Phineas

Well, Aunt Tiana say that we should help and it is her wedding when you think about it.

Candace

Alright. But! No trampolines, no robots, no rollercoasters, no firework spectaculars, no native dancers, no running of the wildebeests—

Linda

Candace, where's the justice of the peace?

Candace

AW, NUTS! Ugh, just give me a minute.

Phineas

Look I just wanna say.

Linda

I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes. [walks in and walks right back out with Phineas and Ferb] Wow. That was fast.

Phineas

Well, we do have a signature look.

Phineas

Well guys, we did it. A 100% historically accurate old-timey pioneer town.

Baljeet

Yes. Complete with hitching posts -

Buford

And snake bites -

Baljeet

And deer ticks -

Buford

And various sores I'll be nursing for months.

Phineas

Yep, it's took a whole lot of toil, pain, sweat and hard work to build this town. We should be proud.

Ferb

Let's never do that again.

Phineas

Agreed. Come on, let's go inside the house for a snack.

Buford

And indoor toilets.

Linda

[offscreen] I don't believe it! [rolls down window] What on Earth?!

Candace

It's happening! Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you… what you've all been waiting for!

Look! It's a perfect metaphor that we should return to simpler times and values.

Candace

That's not exactly what I meant.

Ha! A prefect metaphor for history teaches us about our future.

Candace

That's pretty good, but no.

It's a metaphor for-

Candace

NOT EVERYTHING IS A METAPHOR!

Linda

Candace, what on Earth is going on here?!

Candace

Mom, you know all those times I've tried to fill you in on the crazy stunts Phineas and Ferb have been up to?

Linda

Yes, Candace.

Candace

Well, this is 1 of those times! You see, the Platypus is an animal.

Linda

[gasps upon sees the pioneer town] PHINEAS, FERB, Get out of here this- [Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher living room where the gang is playing a video game. From outside] -second!

Phineas

Hey, Mom's home! [Cut back to the Big Bust.]

Linda

I'm sorry, Candace. Now I know all that crazy exploits you were told me about were true.

Candace

I'm cursed. Phineas, Ferb, I need your help getting rid of this tiki charm.

Phineas

Um, personally, I'd be a little more worried about that manta ray stuck to your head.

Candace

What? ugh. You know, after the day I've been having, I didn't even notice.

Candace

Phineas! What is going on here?!

Phineas

We're flying around the world to make the longest, funnest day of summer ever.

Candace

Oh, no, no, no. Mom left me in charge, and I say, you and your little friends are not going anywhere-

Stacy

Hey, Candace, check out this giant map!

Candace

You're going to Paris? France?

Phineas

That's the plan. We'll have to stop and refuel.

Candace

[thinks for a short moment of silence; determined] Like I was saying, you and your little friends are not going anywhere... without me!

Stacy

No, no, no, no, Candace! This is a bad idea! About as bad as you've ever had in a loong line of, and I love you when I say this, really, really bad ideas.

Candace

Stacy, they're going to Paris… where Jeremy is!

Stacy

You promised your mom you'd keep your brothers out of trouble.

Candace

What better way to look after them than by going along and keeping them out of trouble along the way?

Stacy

You realize that's a massive rationalization, don't you?

Candace

Oh, yeah, totally.

Stacy

Well, say hi to Jeremy for me! And hey, you should stop by and see my cousins in Tokyo!

Ferb

[speaking to an old woman; in Japanese] Hello! We are friends of Stacy!

Hey, everybody! Phineas and Ferb are here!

Phineas

Wow! Stacy sure has a lot of cousins.

Phineas

Man, Tokyo's a fun town!

Candace

I have no idea what just happened.