Tammy Zero quotes from Parks and Recreation

Andy

Oh. My. God! There's a room full of just guns!

Leslie

Why do you have so many guns?

Tammy Zero

This is America isn't it?

Leslie

Yes...

Tammy Zero

Then I don't have to answer stupid questions whilst standing on my own property! Let's go!

April

Okay well that's definitely Ron's mom.

Tammy Zero

It's time to settle this.

Tammy One

Ah, an old fashioned prairie drink-off.

April

Ugh, what's in that jug? It smells like jet fuel!

Ron

That's Swanson family mash liquor. Made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. Its only legal use is to strip varnish off of speed boats.

Tammy Zero

If you win, he's all yours, and if I win, I bring him back to the farm for good.

Leslie

Wait, what? That wasn't the deal!

Tammy One

Pour it. I'm thirsty.

Leslie

Pour me one too, then. Let me in here! I'm gonna join you and if I win, Ron stays here with us.

Ron

Leslie, no, don't drink that. We use it to burn warts off of the mules!

Leslie

...POISON! UGH! I made a mistake! I made a mistake!

Tammy Zero

[To Tammy One] Had enough?

Tammy One

Of this watered down baby formula? Not even close!

Leslie

Not ven cloves...Marvin clothes...Glenn Close...

Ron

Leslie you don't have to do this.

Leslie

Shhh go to bed Jimmy.