Leslie Knope quotes from Parks and Recreation

Leslie

I've taught them too well. I've created a mob of little Leslie Knope monsters. I'm so proud. And a little annoyed. But mostly proud...70-30.

Leslie

Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Tom is being a real dick.

Leslie

Despite the fact that this seems like a party for Tom's face, I think it's going pretty well. When in doubt, in Pawnee, slam salad.

Leslie

[giving a speech] Pawnee has suffered through a tough economy and what has kept our town alive is you, the small business man. And I'm not referring to your stature Gary, you are a giant in this community. So many businesses represented here today; Food N Stuff, JJ's Diner, Glenmore Discount Cemetery, Tramp Stamp Tattoos, Enormous Kenny's Fired Dough Stand & Mobile Phone Emporium. Who else? [quietly] Sue's Salads... [someone in the background boos] Smooth Operator Bikini Waxes, Jeff's Savings & Loan...

Leslie

Tom Haverford is a selfish, unctuous, sleazy, self-promoting, good-hearted, secretly kind and wonderful tiny little person.

Leslie

It's true. I no longer have highly trained, professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained, professional assassins? No, they're committed by friends and coworkers! ...That analogy was way better in my head.

Leslie

I've been looking at our utter and complete lack of experience as a positive thing...but I'm...starting to think it might actually be a problem.

Leslie

[giving her relaunch speech] As a loyal Pawneean, I've always been proud of this town. And I uh...um...Sorry my cards got out of order here when they fell. Um...together we can defeat...obese children...I'm sure that was something positive originally. I'm sorry, okay this is...this is just a disaster isn't it? This is the worst political event ever in history! Well I can assure you people in the bleachers that if you follow my campaign it will be interesting!

Leslie

He is attractive, and charming, and his family employs half the town. But so what? I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who's well versed in the issues. And those are the kind of sexy qualifications that win elections.

Leslie

"Not enough ramps" is the number three complaint among Pawnee seniors, right behind "Everything hurts" and "I'm dying."

Leslie

I've gotten to know the city councilmen pretty well because of my campaign. If you hear them talking about "that blonde pain in the ass", that's me.

Leslie

Do it! Fierce! Power! Pump it up! 2012! Nothing gets me more amped than Sarah McLachlan!

Leslie

[giving her stump speech] What do we want for our city? I'll tell you what I want. I want better schools. I want cleaner streets. I want to expel the violent gangs of geese in Detweiler Square. And I will finally eliminate this city's libraries!

Leslie

City Council, bitches!

Leslie

I believe with my help all the restaurants can get healthier. Paunch Burger, Big & Wide, The Fat Sack, Colonel Plump's Slop Trough...which was formally Sue's Salads...until we ran that out of town...