Natalie Figueroa quotes from Orange Is the New Black

[to Taystee] Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You're like babies. "Where's my present?" "Pay attention to me", "Give me things", " "Fix the heat", "Build a gym". I'm not your goddamn mommy. Grow up!

Sam Healy

Another holiday. Can you believe this?

I can, because I have eyes. And a calendar. Healy, if you ever call an inmate's family again with your lesbian witch hunt shit, I will destroy you, your mail order bride will leave you, and you will never work again. Get some fucking therapy, man.

Joe Caputo

Mmm, this shameful sexual violation is really working out for you, isn't it?

I am just happy that we have helped to start a dialogue.

Pearson quit? You have the chance for a promotion, and you're going limp?

Joe Caputo

Even if I wanted his job, and I don't, it's a lateral move.

A lateral move with more pay?

Joe Caputo

Yes. It's a promotion. But I'm not gonna capitalize on Burset. I'm gonna fight for her.

Why?

Joe Caputo

Because I wear protection, so I haven't caught whatever form of syphilis you have that caused your soul to rot.