Nicole Nichols quotes from Orange Is the New Black

You can only vote within your race or your group. Just pretend it's the 1950s. It makes it easier to understand.

[to Red] None of this is how it's supposed to go. You're tougher than woodpecker lips. You'll be okay.

According to this aptitude test, I should be a professional athlete, a park ranger or a correctional officer.

I was arrogant. It's a classic story of hubris. I'm like Icarus whose wings melted before he could fuck the sun.

You know, another layer of icing on a shit cake doesn't make it taste good.

[to Piper] You know, 'cause if it really is to stay here in this shithole so you can get occasional visits from your demented girlfriend, I mean, then, man, it sounds like you're living the dream. But if you want my advice, then get out of your own goddamn drama for a minute, you know? And, maybe, spend some of that energy praying that your roommate makes it out of medical with all her brain cells intact.

Look at you, blondie. What'd you do?

Piper Chapman

Aren't you not supposed to ask that question? I read that you're not supposed to ask that.

You read that? What, you studied for prison?

Piper Chapman

What are you doing?

It's an art piece representing the futility of blue collar labor in a technological age. And vaginas.

Piper Chapman

In the morning when I wake up, there are these few seconds before I realize where I am. And then I do realize, and I can't breathe. And I want to cry and throw shit and kill myself. When does that end?

I'll let you know.

Piper Chapman

Is SHU really that bad?

It's just like the Hamptons, only fucking horrible.

Alex Vause

Piper loves tequila. What? Afraid I'll tell them the pork chop story?

Now this is fucking weird. I have a pork chop story, too. You go first.

Lorna Morello

What kind of woman doesn't want to pick her own date?

One that doesn't get excited about the wedding industrial complex and society's bullshit need to infantilize grown women.

Hey, what y'all playing?

Nothing.

A game as old as time.

Oh yeah? What's it called?

Exclusion.

Cool. How d'you play it?

Lorna Morello

Do you hate me?

No, I don't hate you. Well, it is getting clearer every second that you're totally bat-shit crazy, but you're a beautiful, sweet girl. Fuck this guy. So many people are gonna love you.

Lorna Morello

No. No, nobody's gonna love me.

I do.

Piper Chapman

I'm talking about Alex. She should be under witness protection.

What do you care? I mean, didn't she screw you over in Chicago? Oh, that's right. That's kind of how you two relate, isn't it? It's like Spy vs. Spy, but sexual.