Flaca quotes from Orange Is the New Black

Flaca

It's like getting into a bath but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing 'There is a Light that Never Goes Out'. There's warm lighting all over and there are like five dudes massaging you.

And you have a pizza.

Flaca

She's right. And you also have a pizza.

I hear they’re setting up a call center.

Flaca

With my sexy voice, I’ll be making mad commissions.

Gloria

Commissions? Right. You get 10% of nothing on every nothing you nothing.

What if it turns out to be, like, picking up trash on the side of the road?

Flaca

They don't pay that much for dummy work. Nah, whatever it is, it's gonna take skills and smarts.

Yeah, what're you gonna wow them with? Your eyeliner skills, or your smarts about how many words rhyme with bleak in emo songs? [laughs]

Flaca

Fuck you and your stupid sad face. We didn't take your baby away, okay?

Yeah? You should shut up about shit you don't know about.

Flaca

You should shut up, you know. At least I got ambition. [speaking Spanish] You little kiss ass.

Ambition? That what you call your ADD? Oh, look, something shiny over there!

Flaca

Selfish bitch. You wanna work out your shit on me? Fine. Let's go. I can take it.

Gloria

Whoa! [speaking English] You, go scrub some pans.

Flaca

What? Gross. She started this shit!

Gloria

Now!

Flaca

I'm so done with this depressing-ass place.

Flaca

[speaking English] A test? Shit, I fucking suck at taking tests! I get all itchy and anxious. I can't think straight.

[speaking Spanish] That's just an excuse for being stupid.

Flaca

I believe people are basically moral. Agree.

You're supposed to answer honest.

Flaca

I do believe that.

[speaking Spanish] You're sitting with a bunch of criminals.

Flaca

[speaking English] You gotta think deeper than that. People wanna be good. They really do, deep down. But they just fuck up.

Gloria

Oh. Look who decided to grace us with her presence. Throw an apron on, we'll talk punishment later.

Flaca

I got the job. It's supposed to start in a few minutes. I just wanted to come let you know.

Gloria

Come? How considerate of you... to show your front when you're turning your back on your family.

Flaca

I earned it, Gloria. You should be proud of me.

Maria

Because of that test? I heard some of the questions on that test. It's not even about anything.

Flaca

They were obviously about something, and I got 'em right. Blanca took it, too, and she didn't get picked.

Gloria

Oh. So now you're better than us? What, you're chosen? Oh, watch out, Norma, Flaca is moving in on your territory. [laughs]

Flaca

That's right, I am better. Better than all you bitches. Maybe I got C's in high school because my personality is too complex for mainstream academics. Some people are born for greatness.

Maria

How nice that prison could help you realize your full potential.

Flaca

Fuck you. [speaking Spanish] Fucking nobodies.

[speaking Spanish] Marisol, turn that down, I can't think.

Flaca

How much thinking you gotta do with that shit? Go straight, then turn.