Galina Reznikov quotes from Orange Is the New Black

Might not look like it, but there's rules in this place. The most important of which is, the second you're perceived as weak, you already are.

And the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded"!

Those Spanish probably won't even eat her, just cut her throat and drink her blood, or something else superstitious. All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power. And make a nice Kiev.

You want to assassinate someone, vision is a basic requirement. It's like step one, pick a person to kill. Step two, kill that person!

I don't do that shit.

This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit, it doesn't matter what you do. It's the doing that makes you dirty.

You're a good son. Not great, but pretty good.

I'll take it.

We tell her it's a warning shot. Don't fuck with Red.

Or a 79 year old woman will shank someone you never met.

This place is getting to me.

Oh, yeah. You just tried to strangle me with plastic wrap so that you can sell mascara in jail.

Sister Jane Ingalls

How you doing, Red?

Strangest thing. Ever since the assault I speak with this Russian accent.

I need to add my lawyer to my visitation list.

Sam Healy

You having problems with your case?

No. And please take my husband off my list.

Sam Healy

[gesturing to the seat in front of him] Why don't you have a seat, Red?

I won't be staying. But thank you.

Sam Healy

Please... Sit. [annoyed, she does so] You want to tell me what's going on?

I married a pillow. Soft, lumpy, and always lying behind my back.

Sam Healy

Words like "always" are absolutes. And using them is a way to reinforce what we wanna believe. When speaking emotionally, absolutes can be dangerous.

Good advice. Thank you. Please add my lawyer and remove my husband.

Sam Healy

You know, Red... Marriage is a two-way street.

And you can't swim without getting wet. See, I can say cliches too. Ha!

Sam Healy

You owe it to your younger self to explore those things that made you wanna marry this man in the first place. You may find that they're still there.

I owe my younger self 23 years of wild sex with multiple partners. But I'll settle for my name back.

Sam Healy

You made a lifelong commitment. That's sacred.

You don't know my story, Healy, and you don't know what he's done. [In Russian] Cocksucker.

Sam Healy

[in a sharp tone, startling her] Hey! Language! [angrily] I know what that word means, and it's not okay to refer to your husband, or any other man that way. [as she stares at him in shock, he rises from his seat] You know, you huff in here... Like some put-upon martyr... Like a smile would break your face, trivialising a man's emotions. What is that? Some kind of a Russian thing or something?

What the hell does that -?

Sam Healy

Hey! Language! Again! That's the last time I'm gonna warn you, Mrs. Reznikov. [comes round to the front of his desk] You forget where you are... Just like you forget that your husband has a stake in this too? Just because he made some mistakes doesn't mean you can run off and go sleep in your mother's room at the first sign of white caps on the ocean!

[in Russian] All he wants is for you to be happy.

Sam Healy

I don't know why, but we've lost the feeling we had in the beginning.

[in broken English] We never have real feeling at beginning, because you're not the man you say to me on Internet. You catfish.

Sam Healy

[confused] Catfish?

[in Russian] I thought he was a real psychologist. I thought we'd go to the museums, the opera. I thought he'd be funny. He seemed funny online when he could edit himself.

[unimpressed] Mmmm... [Healy looks at her for a translation] Um... You're not a real psychologist. You don't go to the opera and you're not funny.

[in Russian] He yells at me.

And you yell.

And drool. Every morning, the sheets are soaked like a small child has peed the bed, but from his face.

[in English] It's... [sighs] It doesn't translate.

Sam Healy

Look, I have not been perfect. But there's nothing wrong between us that we can't work through together.

[in English] No, it is too late. I deserve better man than you, Sam.

[fed up] Oh, give me a fucking break. Deserve? Deserve!? You're a mail-order bride.

I'm not a mail-order bride.

[in Russian] Whatever. You "made an arrangement," and he's holding up his end of it. And you're the type who wants the world to be perfect, but you're not willing to lift a finger to help it along. He's not the man you thought he'd be because the man you thought he'd be doesn't exist. This is what a good man looks like. [loudly, in English] So what if he drools a small pond? He takes care of you, doesn't he? He takes care of your mother, and he's handsome, and he's good. And at least he's fucking trying, which is a lot more than I can say for you!

Young love: they have no idea what they're in for.

Sam Healy

It doesn't always end badly.

Oh, said the man whose wife sleeps in her mother's bed to the prisoner whose brand-new divorce certificate is her most prized possession.

Sam Healy

You gotta believe in something. Why not love?

Because "happily ever after" was invented for the storybooks, so kids reach breeding age without killing themselves.

Sam Healy

So, love is the lie we tell ourselves so we don't go extinct? That's pretty bleak, Red, even for you.

Oh, and you caught me on a glass-half-full day.

Sam Healy

So, you don't think there's someone out there you're meant to be with?

Of course I do. Everybody has a soul mate. But they're usually on the other side of the bars, or the wall, or the planet from you. That's the way the universe works.

Sam Healy

You're not gonna be in prison forever. You got a future to think about.

Our ships passed too late in the night for one of them to change course, Sam.

What happened to you that you're like this, Piscatella? Huh? What? Were you a pet-killing scourge of the cul-de-sac? Or was it more of a Drama of the Gifted Child situation? Huh? Did Papa Piscatella rage on you for being "Little Desi the Queer"?

You watch closely, Nichols, 'cause you're gonna be contestant number two.

Come on, man. I genuinely would love to understand how it is that a man gets to be this fucked up! [Piscatalla slaps Nicky on the face and the others look back in shock and whimper] Come on! What's the original narcissistic wound?

Nicky, stop. He doesn't speak human.