Tony Angelino quotes from Only Fools and Horses

Danny

Boycie, how nice!

Boycie

Hello Danny. Your brother not with you?

Danny

Yeah. (Tony pops out from behind him)

Boycie

Oh watcha Tony. Drink?

Nah! That right, Marlene's up the spout?

Boycie

Yeah.

Danny

Dear dear dear. You let us know the minute you find out who done it and we'll sort him out.

You owe us £2000. You got the money?

Del

Course I ain't. I ain't sold the phones yet have?

Danny

Don't give me all that Derek. Them two munchkins Ebony and Ivory took the phones off us three months ago.

Del

Three months? I didn't know that Danny.

Danny

Do you think we're stupid? (Del doesn't answer) Do you think I'm stupid? If you don't cough up that two grand I'm gonna take his collar and lead off and let him loose on you! (Tony grins at Del menacingly)

Danny

When Tony and me were kids, we was very very poor. Our old man used to work in on of them old mansion houses. He worked from 6 in the morning til 8 at night and what for? A pittance.

A shilling a day and an horseshit sandwich.

Danny

One day, there was a robbery at the mansion, and the Bill arrested our old man and there wasn't any evidence was there?

Just finger prints.

Danny

Just finger prints.

And eye witnesses.

Danny

A Couple of eye witnesses. They found the jewels on him.

It was a plant.

Albert

Who's there?

Can I speak to Mr. Twotter?

Raquel

It's Tony, let him in.

I've come for me money.

Del

All right, not now son. I'm up to my eyes in it. Come back tomorrow.

No. Not tomowwow. I want me money now. I did the performance, didn't I? I did the wepotoire that you - YOU -insisted on.

Del

I didn't know you couldn't pronouce your R's!

What does that matter?

Albert

Quite a lot when you sing songs with R's in.

I don't sing songs with R's in. And if the song has got an R in it, I change the lywics.

Del

Then why didn't you change the lywics tonight?

How can I change the lywics to "Cwying"?! The bloody song's called "Cwying"!

We signed a contwact.

Del

Ah yes, but my brother drew up that contract, and he put in a get out clause, didn't you, Rodney?

Rodney

No.

Del

Then why didn't you?

Rodney

You didn't tell me to. I ain't a lawyer, I sweep up and make the tea.

No-one who pwonounces R's like me has ever become successful.

Albert

There's Roy Jenkins and Jonathan Ross.

Exactly!