Rodney Trotter quotes from Only Fools and Horses

Del

One of my most favouritist meals is Duck à l'Orange, but I don't know how to say that in French.

Rodney

It's canard.

Del

You can say that again bruv!

Rodney

No the French word for duck is canard.

Del

Is it? I thought that was something to do with the QE2?

Rodney

No that's Cunard. They're the ones with the boats and what have you. The French for duck is canard.

Del

Right lovely jubbly. Right, so how do the French say à l'Orange then?

Rodney

A l'Orange!

Del

What, the same as we do?

Rodney

Yes.

Del

Oh dear, it's a pity they don't use more of our words innit eh?

Rodney

Here's another one of them, Del! It's like a geriatric Village of the Damned!

Del

I don't know about St. Claire a la Chappelle, they should rename this place "Trottersville"!

Del

We're just gonna have to let him go then.

Rodney

We can't just let him go! A stranger on this estate? Imagine what the gangs will do to him?

Denzil

Yeah. For all we know, he could be part of Al-Qaeda!

Rodney

Don't be stupid, Denzil.

Del

Yeah. I mean, does he look like he works in a furniture store?

Sid

This group do a tribute to Robson and Jerome.

Rodney

Why?

Cassandra

There's you. (realisation hits her)

Rodney

Yeah there's me. July 1960. Before I was born.

Cassandra

Who is it?

Rodney

He's my father.

Cassandra

But your father...

Rodney

My real father, Cass. My biological old man.

Raquel

Who is he?

Del

His name was Freddie Robdal. He was a mate of my dad's. My mum was having a rough time with the old man. He was very handy, if you know what I mean, with women. Not much cop when it came to men, but a hard nut with women and kids. Anyway, one day, my dad brought Freddie home, and him and my mum got on like a house on fire. They had the same taste in music and... well, everything.

Cassandra

And what was he, this Freddie Robdal?

Rodney

He was a gentleman safe-cracker. They called him "The Raffles of Peckham". People have mentioned him before and we sounded similar. He was a connoisseur of fine wines, a gourmet, a real snappy dresser, and big-time charmer.

Cassandra

So, how are you similar?

Rodney

We're about the same height.

Del

Can I ask you a question, Rodders?

Rodney

Fire away.

Del

Where did that runway come from?

Rodney

I don't fancy making that film now.

Del

You know what, Rodders? That's a bloody good idea! (both Trotter Brothers laugh)

Rodney

That's it! Finished! Kaput! That was her last chance!

Raquel

Good evening, Rodney.

Rodney

I have never been so insulted in my life!

Del

Well sit down bruv, let me have a go!

Del

(in the kitchen, talking to Rodney about why Raquel is sleeping in Rodney's bedroom) You don't get it, do you? You see Raquel, Raquel is a lady, and when a lady's ready to to... well when she's ready to, she will let me know.

Rodney

How?

Del

She'll give me a sign.

Rodney

Like what?

Del

I don't know?

Rodney

Maybe she'll put an advertisment in the Sunday Sport, eh?

Del

Look, is there anything I can do to help?

Rodney

Yes, piss off!

Rodney

Well thanks to you, my wife now thinks I'm having a passionate affair with the siren of the exhaust centre, and you've offended my neighbours!

People are trying to sleep!

Rodney

Shut up!