Christian Troy quotes from Nip/Tuck

Sean

I know you've slept with some strange types, Christian, but a 50-year-old school principal?

Christian

Put it on my tomb stone. Here lies Christian Troy. He was never predictable.

Christian

There are times I want to feel more May, than September for a change.

Christian

You lubricate acid. If I stuck my dick in you, it would sizzle off.

Ava

It would sizzle alright.

Kimber

[after walking in on Christian having sex with Kit] First you propose to me. Now you're screwing another girl. Who are you?

Christian

I'm me again, baby. I'm back.

Christian

There's really no point in having a consultation without the patient present.

She's a gorilla.

Sean

Well, I'm sure you're exaggerating.

Christian

What is it with you and this animal?

Liz

She is an outcast from her tribe, and she is suffering because of it. I know what that feels like.

Christian

Ok, I just want to point out that it was you who compared yourself to a gorilla, not me.

Christian

Look. Maybe Kumba can see past Kiki's scar, to her "inner beauty" -- Maybe he's not a shallow bastard like the rest of us.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Beauty attracts to preserve the species. In evolutionary terms, Dr. Troy, all males are bastards.

Christian

My girlfriend I can handle, it's my girlfriend's girlfriend that's wiping me out.

Quentin

You are my idol. How do you get up for work?

Christian

The sex isn't the exhausting part. It's the constant jockeying for position. I am trying to establish myself as the Walk of Cock here.

Christian

Three tickets for the Vin Diesel movie.

Kimber

I thought we're watching Jude Law.

Christian

[rolls eyes] I'm not watching three hours of Jude Law. Doesn't he get castrated at the end of this one?

Kimber

You always choose the movie. We haven't seen anything I like in the past two years.

Christian

I'm sorry the movies I like are not the cinematic masterpieces you direct, Kimber.

Kimber

These 'masterpieces' grossed more in first-month DVD sales than you made the entire year last year, asshole.

Christian

[to Kit] This is all your fault. You are constantly whispering in her ear to box me out. [Edit] Kimber and I understand each other. We have a shorthand. [buys two movie tickets and storms off] Jerk each other off.

Sean

The Hutton Academy is not a military school. It's a disciplinary institution.

Christian

And the two plums between my legs are not balls, they're testicles.

I had higher expectations of you Christian, but the truth is you're nothing more than a domesticated housecat with an expensive haircut, and no sense of adventure.

Christian

Domesticated or not there is no pussy for you here.

Sean

I have an 8:30 lift with Quentin.

Christian

Make sure you don't drop the scalpel. Our new partner plays for both teams.

Sean

Could you have misinterpreted?

Christian

I've never had a buddy of mine stick his pinky up my ass just for shits and giggles.

Christian

I think he has a man-crush on you.

Sean

Me? It is you that he's trying to screw!

Julia

With all due respect you know more about the different classes of tequila than you do parenting.

Christian

I know enough to know that the pound wouldn't give either of you a 10 year old mutt covered in shit right now.

Sean

My guess it's phantom pain.

Christian

Who do I see for phantom pain, Ghostbusters?

Christian

If I didn't fight back, it's because in some kind of way I feel like I deserve it.

Sean

For what?

Christian

For what? For screwing Julia when you were engaged, for cheating on every girlfriend I've ever had, for charging ten grand to raise a pair of sagging tits on some socialite bitch, for generally being a soulless man. Take your pick.

Christian

The American Architecture Award. Impressive.

I got it for an atrium house I designed in 2001. I utilised the power of negative space. The beauty of what's missing.