Florence Kleiner quotes from Night Court

Dan

[on phone] No, no, I need the costume tonight! Yes, let's say something tasteful, conservative... say, the Roman Emperor Caligula... $200?! For some sandals and a sheet?! All right, all right, let's lay the cards on the table. What can I get for $19.95?

Dan

[to Flo] What's a "Smurf"?

Florence

Imagine your cat threw up a furball that talked.

Nancy Hines from Records. I have some data for you.

Dan

Thanks. Toss it in there, please.

Sorry, I was asked to toss it up here. [She hits Dan in the face with a chocolate cream pie to everyone's amusement] It's from a friend.

Dan

It was... one of you, wasn't it?

Florence

And it was worth every penny! [laughs]

Harry

Flo, that is very nice, but you don't have to cover for me. I called them, Dan!

Christine

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You two don't have to cover for me. I was the one that called them!

Mac

Uh-uh, uh-uh! It was me!

Dan

You want the truth? It was all of you.

Harry

...It was?

Dan

[laughs] I knew you couldn't resist it. I knew you would want me. I made a deal with the guy out in the hall. I said if he took the money, just for one hit, and gave me the rest, I wouldn't sue him!

Mac

You knew we all called!

Dan

Yes, I knew! You hate me! You all hate me! Everybody hates me! [He leans into Christine, his face still covered with chocolate cream.] For the first time in my life, I'm taking advantage of being me.

Christine

[unable to look at him] You allowed yourself to be humiliated for a few hundred dollars?

Florence

Are you crazy? He'd French-kiss a buffalo for a few hundred dollars.

Bull

My mother used to tell me that thunder was just the sound God makes when he gets a strike in bowling.

Florence

That's cute. What happened when you found out?

Bull

When I found out what?

Bull

Gosh, He's good.

Florence

He's got His own ball.