Buddy quotes from Night Court

Buddy

[about Harry's mother] Harry, she went into a psychiatric institution after she left you. That's where we met.

Harry

I'm gonna go out on a limb here... you weren't on the staff, were you?

Buddy

But I'm feeling much better now.

Harry

What is it, Buddy? What is it about you that makes you so special? Why do people who are alone, and-and sad, they feel better just 'cause you're around? What is it?

Buddy

[thinks a moment] Love... caring...

[in unison] ...and a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene with regular professional care.

Christine

[drunk] Buddy! Harry! I've gotta go! I've gotta stop him!

Buddy

I used to do that a lot. But I'm feeling much better now!

Harry

This whole thing is... a scam. It's like a play.

Buddy

A play?

Harry

This is part of a government sting to catch some criminals who have been bribing judges.

Buddy

Really? Then all that stuff Christine told me about your feeling alone without any family, that was all part of the act?

Harry

Right.

Buddy

Whoo! What a relief. And to think I almost told you that I was your father.

Harry

You mean my stepfather.

Buddy

No, I mean your real father. But now I guess there's no need to tell you.

Harry

What?

Buddy

Heck, I always figured you'd be better off not knowing anyway, so you won't hear it from me.

Harry

All right, Buddy, whatever you have to say, go ahead and lay it out. Nothing that you can say could possibly faze me now!

Buddy

You were born in a mental institution!

Harry

...I stand corrected.

Buddy

Your mom was really pretty messed up when she first moved into the hospital. To give you an idea, I actually helped her. It was just the two of us. We clung to each other for support. And that support grew into friendship. And that friendship grew into love.

Harry

And that's... where I came into the picture.

Buddy

Yeah.

Buddy

Well, it's been quite an eventful day, Harry. Even by my standards. You sure you're all right?

Harry

Well, let's see. I got knocked around by an inept government agent, went through a severe identity crisis, and nearly got myself killed... [grins] But I'm feeling much better now!