Do the words “chow down” ring a bell, sir?
Your honor, we are starving. Please call a dinner break.
Sir, you can’t ignore your dinner date forever.
Hey, one more case. We’ll work up an appetite.
That’s what you said an hour ago, sir. And mine’s worked up real nice, I mean it’s ready for something raw.
Your Honor, if we do not eat, we will grow weak and then die on your floor.
…Anita Fries VS Arnold Burger, your honor.
Burger and Fries, please. [A hooker and a man with his hand over his eye walk in]
Anita Fries, your honor. She’s charged with solicitation, prostitution, [Pulls man’s arm away to reveal a black eye] and assault.
In the interest of time, let’s try and keep out the insignificant details. Specifically the graphic ones.
ABArnold Burger
She took my money, and she won’t give it back.
AFAnita Fries
I have a strict no-refund policy.
Your honor, apparently Ms. Fries provided neither... ”goods nor services”.
BillieHe’s a pervert.
Oh, come on. One little comment does not make me a...
Mr. Prosecutor, I believe she was referring to your client.
Billie
Your honor, my client would like to show the demands made by Mr. Burger. [Hands him a piece of paper]
AFAnita Fries
This sicko gets his kicks off of food. He gives me fifty bucks, and tells me to spend it on ice cream, whipped cream, sprinkles, and cherries.
ABArnold Burger
They're in season.
AFAnita Fries
You want to hear what he wanted me to do with this stuff?
AAnita
He wanted me to smear it...
All right. One hour meal break.
Billie
I know you don't agree with me, but...
Billie
I don't expect you to... You agree with me?
Sure. I probably would have done the same thing.
Billie
[muttering] They told me you were nuts.
Billie
I... if you agree with me, why am I in jail?
Call it a whim. I have this thing about upholding the law. Billie, what you did was noble, it really was, and as a person I can admire it.
Billie
But as a judge?
Bull, you look depressed.
I am. My word of the month is so obscure I can't find an opportunity to use it in conversation.
[after a beat, turns to Dan] So how about that Jets game last night, huh?
Billie
Bull, what exactly does pentimento mean?
It's an artistic term, referring to the reappearance of original elements that had been obliterated by a new outer appearance.
You mean like that little brown shadow on top of your head that you affectionately refer to as hair?
Mr. Hubbell was on his way to a seminar on subway hospitality, when he was mugged outside of City Hall.
AHArthur Hubble
They took everything. My wallet, my keys, my cash...
Billie
And after pleading with several passer-bys for bus fare, Mr. Hubbell attempted to panhandle from a group of Japanese tourists. They turned him down.
He mugged them. Your Honor, the state wishes to submit evidence. We have affidavits from the victims, some shredded yen, and over seventy action-packed photographs of the incident.
DDoctor
This doesn't sound like a simple case of indigestion to me. In my opinion, you should see a doctor right away.
Billie
[confused] Well, you're a doctor, aren't you?
DDoctor
Gynecologist. [Dan bursts out laughing.] Come on, you people are lucky I happened to be eating in that place.
Well, I appreciate the help, Doc, but you're a little out of your league, aren't you?
Let's just say his league has a lower strike zone. [laughs] I'm sorry, it was so easy.
DDoctor
How often do you get these pains, Judge?
DDoctor
Once a week, once a day...?
You ought to let him know when they're five minutes apart, Harry. [laughs] This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!
[Billie brings Harry back to her apartment for a nightcap.]
GMrs. Grinsky
Who's that, dear?
GMr. Grinsky
Oh, it's just the lawyer and her man of the week.
Billie
(fakes a laugh) "Man of the week." Is he a card or what?
[Quon Le was arrested for sharing a house with a group of prostitutes.]
Billie
[trying to explain Mac and Quon Le's relationship] Mac was just temporarily acting in the role of spouse.
TLTawny La Belle
Well, hey, that's all we were doing, and we got busted for it!
Night Court · 239 quotes
