Art quotes from Night Court

Harry

Yakov Korolenko.

Hello, Joe.

Harry

Might we have a language problem here?

Liz

We definitely might, Your Honor. My client speaks only a few words of English and we haven't been able to find a Russian interpreter.

Harry

But we are working on it.

Liz

Yes, sir.

I understand you're looking for somebody who speaks Russian.

Harry

Do you speak Russian?

No, but I'll give it a shot.

Harry

Art, Art, Art, dear, dear Art, please don't think I'm trying to pry... [seizes Art by his sterile mask] ...but what the hell are you doing?

I got a work order here to fumigate the entire building. We've got a problem with termites.

Harry

How big a problem?

[into his phone] I, uh... I'll have to get back to you, Mac.

Mac

[at his desk, into his own phone] I understand.

Mac

Art, hey! We're busy here! You wanna pick this up later?

We're on red alert!

Mac

Really?

[lays a commiserative hand on Mac's shoulder] I only wish we could have saved your desk.

Mac

Oh, my dear Lord! [runs out]

Bull

Your Honor, the Hubner sisters are waiting to see you.

Harry

Herb's kids? What do they want?

Bull

Apparently they settled their differences and had some kind of reconciliation.

Harry

So what about the ashes?

Bull

They say whatever you decide to do with them is fine with both of them.

Harry

[picks up the urn] Oh. Well, okay. I hadn't really... [opens the urn] Hey, this thing's empty!

Oh that, yeah I'm sorry, Your Honor, I had to use that herb tea to test the coffee maker.

Harry

Art, this wasn't herb tea! This was Herb!