Roz Russell quotes from Night Court

Christine

Rose, do your drive?

Of course, Miss Sullivan.

Christine

Oh, good, okay. Do you know first aid?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Christine

Excellent. Okay, first aid. Do you consider yourself to be warm and friendly?

Absolutely, my dear.

Christine

Good, great, okay.

Roz

[after a wink from Christine] Got any tattoos?

Three.

Roz

Ever been in the slammer?

Twice.

Roz

What's the going price for a fifth of scotch?

$17.95.

Roz

Hit the road, jerkweed.

Christine

You're incredible!

Roz

I know. Part of being personnel.

Roz

Dan, I'm going around the world!

Dan

Big deal. I did that last night with Angela.

Harry

Friends, family, Art. You know, each and every one of us has some special qualities that make us different from everybody else. I suppose when we're all alone, we end up thinking that those qualities might make us unattractive. But you only have to look at Bull and Wanda to see that that's not true. Here are two people that were brought together because of their uniqueness, not in spite of it. Two people who may see the world differently from most, but it's just fine for each other. Two people whose uniqueness has made their love for each other that much more special. And now, it is my great pleasure to bring these two very special people together. Bull, Wanda, you have any vows you want to share?

Bull

Wanda, I promise to love you with all my heart, to share with you the secrets of my soul, and never to hog the sheets, even when my toes are frosty.

Ditto.

Harry

Wanda, do you take Bull as your husband, to love, to honor, and to cherish as long as you both shall live?

I do.

Harry

And Bull, do you take Wanda as your wife, to love and honor and cherish as long as you both shall live?

Bull

Okay.

Harry

Be there anyone here who knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak now.

Roz

Or forever answer to me.

Harry

Then by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the groom.

[like her new husband] Okay.

Dan

Lisette, give me your hand.

Why?

Dan

Well, I need it for Chapter 7: The Delicate Art of Touch.

Well, what are you gonna do with it?

Dan

I need it so I can make you feel relaxed, now give it to me!

Harry

More surrogacy training, Dan?

Dan

Dr. Weeks's course is very thorough.

Roz

Unlike her screening process.

Dan

[holding Lisette hand in right and following instructions with left] "Foreplay should be the most important part of lovemaking. Starting with the fingers, gently trace up your partner's arm. Caress the shoulder with care, delicately massaging each muscle while isolating each key erogenous zone." [His hand goes over Lisette's face, making her very hot] What's wrong with you?

Nothing, baby.

Roz

Huh?

[snapping out] Boy, is my hair dirty? I think I'll go take a cold shower.