Oh, okay. You want me to do... you're doing a voice. You want me to do a voice? Okay, um... [in a Jimmy Stewart voice] Well, I'm so happy to be here! [Back to normal voice] Jimmy Stewart? [as Jimmy Stewart] You look ravishing in your... netting...
Yes, I brought you a gift. I hope you appreciate that I have kept eye contact with you this whole time and made no reference to the fact that you are basically naked.
Actually, it says that because... you know, I ma... I made it specifically for you. Yeah, I found this place on 3rd Street where you can design your own perfume. Base notes of cocoa because of your brown, uh... ness. Sea salt, because it kind of sounds like Cece. Uh, and sandalwood... Sandalwood... always up to no good.
[on the phone] Hi, yes, I'd like to order a last-minute stripper. Oh, um, preferably of Asian heritage, very bendy, with a heart of gold and a crotch of gold.
I don't wanna know. And the R-rated section in the back with the stripper pole. It's normally used for stability, but tonight it's gonna be used for $50 worth of seminudity.
I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person. That's just weird, and it freaks me out. And I'm sorry I don't talk like Murphy Brown. And I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong.
[rubbing Nick's back and fondling him] I'm gonna start unbuttoning your pants, and then I'm gonna unbutton my shirt. I'm not gonna take my underpants off, though. Not right away, I'm gonna keep my underpants on until I let you take my underpants off, Nick. Okay? 'Cause you are gonna be the Underpants Captain tonight.
Look... Kim, this wasn't your standard 2:00 a.m. mistaken assault in the parking garage. I've had a thing for you ever since I was the husky kid in the mailroom. And if... if you don't believe me... here you go. [hands Kim his 2007 New Year's resolutions] Straight from '07. Read resolution number four. It's about you.
KKim
[reading from the sheet of paper] "Only think about hot new CFO every other time I masturbate."
I think I changed a life today, you guys. I pulled a Gandhi, a real Gandhi. There's a student of mine, he's been bullied for the past few months, so after warning the kids that there would be serious repercussions if this continued, I delivered a lesson... in the key of learning. Learning minor.
