David quotes from Never Mind the Buzzcocks, page 2 ... TV Quotes Database

DDavid

Noel, is there anything you banned from the Boosh tour? Jokes?

Catchphrases.

S23 23x09

David, can we talk about your panda book, which contains 100 completely made-up facts about pandas. Were they all made up?

DDavid

Well you be the judge. If a panda gets struck by lightning, its white hair turns black and its black hair turns white, and they're known as negative pandas, but if it gets struck by lightning a second time it reverts back to its original colours and is called a double-negative panda, or just a panda.

Noel

That's true!

S23 23x10

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DDermot

Phill and Michael, here are your tunes for Russell... (gives the envelope to Michael) now before we go any further, if you two could just stand up... (Dermot walks towards Phill and Michael as they stand up) Okay, and that's Camera 1 over there, so I want you to turn to each other... (they do) And on my count of three, if you could look at Camera 1 in your best smouldering way, alright?

MMichael

Smoulder?

DDermot

Yep. In three, two, one...

PPeter

PHILL JUPITUS AND MICHAEL BALL!

(Phill and Michael stare at the camera while standing toe to toe while the audience applauds and cheers)

DDermot

Now you can begin.

Noel

You two are what I imagine John and Edward to be like in thirty years!

(Phill and Michael start acting like an older version of Jedward and start singing Ghostbusters in the style of Jedward. Audience laughter and applause)