You tell Abby I want her.
Abby [entering the room from behind him] Oh Gibbs, I never knew!
S2 E20Red Cell
I hate to say it, but that was actually smart, Tony.
What was, Kate?
Tony might have figured out how to find the hacker.
It's his job. You think I keep him around for his personality?
What kind of interrogation technique is that?
The DiNozzo method. Not pretty but it's effective.
Hey, turn that frown upside down, sweetie... we're going back to college!
Your problem, Tony, is you never left.
Is Gibbs still mad at me?
About what, probie? Dead marine on campus? Missing petty officer? Computer hacker who might be part of a radical peace movement? None of these things are your fault, really... But sending Gibbs on a panty raid?
He's going to kill you.
You find my hacker yet?
McGee's upstairs working on it.
I didn't ask McGee. I asked my Senior Field Agent. I want that damn hacker! [walks out the room]
Did you hear that, Palmer?
He sounded pretty upset.
No. [smiles] He called me his Senior Field Agent. Finally.
You guys are just in time for McGee's crisis of faith. He's starting to realize that there may be someone on this planet who's smarter than he is.
Oh, I'm looking at one right now.
Well, Kate, in all fairness, I am the senior field agent, but I think it's an experience that...
I was talking about Abby, dodo-head.
[Fake curtsies] Thank you, Kate!
S2 E21Hometown Hero
[while attempting to guess what McGee's first car was, McGee starts to reply] If you say Datsun Honeybee, I'm gonna come over there and smack you.
Tony's car was towed. Poor baby had to take the bus to work.
[irritated] You know what kind of people take the bus?
Yeah, I take the bus.
Exactly.
Gibbs is a boat man. He doesn't understand I have to have my car.
I'm giving you a rental, DiNozzo. What's the big deal?
Not the same, bus boy. My car's part of my being.
I need you to take a look, Ducky.
What do you expect me to find?
Nothing. I just need to buy more time.
Oh Jethro. [smiles] I can spend forever finding nothing.
You're taking the stairs McGee.
Why??
'Cause I'm not taking an elevator with someone who doesn't know who Gary Cooper was!
McGee! Talk. Make sense.
S2 E22SWAK
Never had allergies. Never had a cold.
Never had a cold?
Nope! Never had the flu either.
Why do I believe that?
Tony [sotto voice]: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
Tony, Please, we're stuck here together. Can we just make a pact? Until we're out, I won't make fun of all the stupid things you say, and you won't tell me any more film scenarios. Deal?
Deal.
Thank you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.