Thanks for doing it my way.
Yeah, don't mention it.
I was being facetious.
Yeah, me too.
S7 E20Moonlighting
[he and Gibbs walk into Director Vance's office without knocking and turn on the tv] You have a surveillance camera in the conference room now. Hope you don't have on in the elevator.
[is crouching behind desk going through files] We don't, not yet at least, Agent Fornell. [sits up] How can I help you?
To borrow your tv.
And my copy of Emily Post. Door was closed.
I thought you were in MTAC.
Well, we all make mistakes. That's why God invented knocking. McGee's int he conference room interviewing Susan Grady.
You sure you don't have a camera in the elevator?
When I do, you'll be the first to know, Agent Fornell.
Well, wouldn't Susan know? She was there, right? Are you guys sure that we can trust her, because I am not.
And why, may I ask, is that?
C'mon, Ducky. Everyone knows that Susan's taken a little shine to McGee.
[Ziva punches Tony in the stomach and he groans]
That has nothing to do with it. McGee, he's a capable investigator, but when it comes to matters of the heart he can be a bit... naive.
Are you... talking from experience?
That's classified. Just think about his last girlfriend. She tried to kill him!
Oh, I get it. You're trying to cover McGee like a protective hen.
Or an overprotective panther.
[shrugs uncomfortably] Okay... If Susan can't tell you who lucky number eleven is, I can. Just keep her out of my hair.
GAgent Grady
You have to catch them! Now! Like, right now.
We're working on it.
We have hit a shamu.
GGrady
Does she mean snafu?
Roll with it.
[Tony and Ziva enter the squadroom and see Palmer without his shirt on, and a rash erupting around his henna tattoo]
Dear God... someone fed him after midnight.
Jimmy, what happened to you?
It turns out I am really allergic to henna. I can't reach back there, so do you think you guys could...?
I'm late for a squash game!
I'm sorry, I've got to get the hell out of here.
Please, guys! It really itches!
[Tony and Ziva make a run for the elevator, Jimmy runs after them.]
That's what girlfriends are for!
I can get the top part!
Stay, stay, stay!
[They try to fend him off, but Jimmy gets on the elevator with them; all arguing at once.]
No, no, no! Please, do not... that could be very contagious! I may have to hurt you massively.
She'll do it, she'll do it!
I would do it for you!
No, you wouldn't!
[Elevator doors close]
I thought you said 27.000 kills.
28.000 kills.
But you said yesterday 27.000 kills!
Well, that was yesterday.
You kill a thousand people a day?
I was hot. I was super hot. I was cappin' fools!
It's not a cause for pride, McGee! It's a cause for concern!
S7 E21Obsession
So, what exactly are you looking for in Miss Right?
[laughs] Well, aside from the obvious physical requirements, I don't know. I guess she'd be a very independent woman, intelligent, successful, professional.
Okay, just one question: what would this woman, possibly, see in you?
[They smile and walk away from each other]
DVDirector Vance
State Department has appointed Ms.Hart to be Alejandro's legal counsel for the task force.
Of course they did.
ARAlejandro Rivera
I met Allison in Mexico City. We work well together.
AHAllison Hart
Alejandro was very helpful in my securing Colonel Bell's release from prison.
Maybe we shouldn't be cooperating, Leon.
[Abby has been kindly invited by Alejandro Rivera to speak at a symposium in Mexico City]
You're not going to go, are you?
Are you kidding? Why wouldn't I go?
Well, I bet he just wants to find out how many tats you have.
Maybe I have a new one that you're never going to see.
You okay?
Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case.
Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with.
AAlison
I thought you were going to start locking your front door.
Well, if I did that I'd have no social life. What are you doing here, Alison Hart?
AAlison
You didn't seem happy with my new status at NCIS.
Oh, and I thought I covered that so well.
S7 E22Borderland
Ducky found tissue underneath our victim's fingernails. Most likely from the killer. I ran the DNA, no matches.
Doesn't sound much like a breakthrough.
Well, it's not, but it is helpful because all military DNA is on file.
Just means our killer wasn't in the military.
Uggh... Rules out Director Vance.
It's good work. Get the address to Tony and Ziva.
[hands Abby a tiny Caf-Pow]
Nice job.
What the bio-hazardous material is this?
It's all they had.
A mini Pow?
[Gibbs nods]
Uggh, this is another bad omen. Gibbs, this does not bode well for my future.
Abby, I wouldn't worry about it.
Why's that?
Because, I've got your back. Always have, Abs. [kisses her on the cheek] Always will.
I bet Abby could last longer than ten seconds playing random chat.
You are obsessed.
You wouldn't understand.
Why is that?
Because, being irritating is second nature to you. Me, I'm charming.
[scoffs]
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say serial killer.
[laughs] A limb. Nice!
Can I give you a hand? These are terrible jokes...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.