Now I understand why Tony took the couch in Paris.
Ziva said that she did.
[they look at each other understandingly]
S7 E22Borderland
Hi, Gibbs.
Hey, Abs.
Hi, Gibbs.
Hey, Abs.
Can I come in?
Yeah. You already are in.
Oh, right. Okay. It was nice talking to you.
Abs. Why are you here?
You know why I'm here. I matched the bullet in Pedro Martinez's head to your sniper rifle. You killed him. In cold blood. I mean, I know what he did, Gibbs. He killed your wife and your daughter, but Gibbs.
I know.
Gibbs doesn't do things like that, or does he? Now I don't know. I don't know anything. The only thing that I do know is that I didn't find this out by accident.
Rule forty.
If it seems like someone is out to get you, they are. You have no idea how much I wish it was yesterday. Maybe if I could just close my eyes and open them again it will be. [crosses her fingers and closes her eyes, only to open them in dismay] Do you realize the situation that I'm in now?
Yeah, I know.
Do you understand the choice that I have to make now?
I know.
Stop saying I know!
What do you want me to say?
Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me that I made a mistake with the ballistics or --
No. No, I can't say that.
Then tell me how much I've been like a daughter to you, and how much you love me.
Will that help?
No. What I really need to know, Gibbs, is if you're going to love me no matter what.
S7 E23Patriot Down
It is perfect for s'mores.
I never liked s'mores.
What are you talking about? What's not to like? You've got your chocolate, graham crackers, gooey marshmellows. What kind of boy scout are you?
I'm a Webelos, actually.
Well, zip up Webelos, your inner geek is showing.
Why would you let someone get away with rape?
Perception. Burrows is in the military. If a woman cries rape, no man on that ship would ever totally trust her again.
Well, you're a woman. What would you do?
I am different. After torturing them until they cried like babies, I would castrate them and give them what they deserve.
Hmm. Spoken like a true almost-American.
A good flan is hard to make. Getting the right ratio of milk to vanilla to caramel.
Can we stop talking about the flan?
What are you, anti-flan?
Since when did I become the kid in class that the teacher won't call on? The evidence in my report says that you killed Pedro Hernandez, and you're not even willing to talk to me about it.
I didn't think I needed to.
I owe you everything! You're Gibbs! No one needs to know the truth about the Hernandez investigation. I am willing to do anything for you. I just need you to tell me what to do.
No you don't, Abs. I've only ever needed you to do one thing.
My job. But it's different this time. I mean, it has to be, right?
No, it doesn't.
It's tough to master the flan. Texture needs to be smooth, just the right ratio of milk to vanilla to caramel.
Can we stop talking about the flan?
What are you, anti-flan?
S7 E24Rule Fifty-One
Ain't that a riddle? No way out. Guy trapped in a room, no doors, no windows."
PRPaloma Reynosa
How did he get there?
Walls were built around him. But there's nothing there except a mirror and a table. How does he get out?
JPJason Paul Dean
Look in the mirror, see what you saw. take the saw, cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out the hole. Most retarded riddle I ever heard.
Did you see that?
See what?
A wink.
Director Vance winked?
I think he winked. Unless he was prepping his eye for the scanner, but --
Why would it matter if he winked?
Because that's what he and Gibbs do. They have this whole wink-wink, nudge-nudge language. Vance can't green light an op. He expects us to pick up the slack when we see it.
You see slack.
I don't know. Did you see a wink?
You guys are going to Mexico! What's the plan?
What do you know, Abs?
Gibbs mentioned rule forty.
If you think someone's out to get you, they are?
I have never heard of a rule in the forties.
They don't come up very often.
And that's a good thing.
How many times have I told Gibbs to write these things down?!
You don't have to write them down, they're for daily use, most of the rules, but the forties --
The forties. The forties are for emergency use only.
If the forties are in play something unspeakably bad is going down.
We have to get him back.
[Vance had earlier told Gibbs about his tour of the Warner Bros studio lot during his earlier trip to Los Angeles.]
You know, there's a story about Humphrey Bogart on that tour. Might be apocryphal, but I hope it's true. So he finishes early, walks across the street to the bar, still wearing his costume and his make-up. Couple hours later, the director realizes he needs Bogie for one more shot, so he sends a production assistant, sends a kid to drag Bogie back onto the cafe set. The director somehow gets him to the top of the stairs and says, "all I need you to do, is look over here and nod."
That's it?
That's it. Bogie nods, one take, he's done. It's in the movie. When Victor Lazlo wants the band leader to play "La Marseillaise", he looks to Rick for the okay. It's only the turning point for the entire character. Where he actually makes a commitment, and joins the cause.
All he had to do was nod.
And that started everything.
S8 E1Spider and the Fly
That horse likes you!
This isn't funny, Tony.
Oh, poor McMounty. [affects Canadian accent] Hey, so have you seen any, like, moose and stuff up there? Hey, where's your buddy Claude. Isn't that your friendly St. Bernard with a little barrel of whiskey under his chin?!
I've been up here playing Dudley Do-Right for two weeks, all right? It's September and there's snow on the ground, could you at least give me a little compassion here?
And what would that be for? Did you forget to take off your toque when you entered a room? You're going to get in trouble up there, hanging with the bluenecks, throwing back a two-four of pale ale.
I've actually been working, unlike some people!
Certain people here are working.
Of course, boss.
Hello, Tony. I'm back!
Well, hello, little miss Sunshine State, and don't you look balmy.
I do not know what balmy means, but I would assume it is not good.
Just because I was alone, manning the fort, handling Gibbs solo, while you've been strolling around South Beach dancing to the rhythm of the night, why would I feel the need to say anything negative?
Because you are you. Besides, I was working the entire time.
Ha!
Ha what??
Are those tan lines?
[coyly] Where do you think you're looking?
Does it matter?
Well, actually, yes it does. And I can assure you, I do not have any tan lines.
Oh. So you did lay in the sun.
Yes, I did, actually, this morning before my flight. And I came up with something case related prior to my departure.
[closes in eyes and inhales as Ziva stands next to his desk] You smell like ocean and shea butter.
Thought you were dead.
I got better.
[exiting the elevator] Ah, I missed these stained orange walls. God bless tacky American bureaucracy.
The prodigal probie returns.
You know, I realized something, Tony. You don't appreciate something until it's gone.
So you missed me, ay?
No, other things, like breakfast without beer.
I thought that was the Irish.
Canadians, too.
You know, beer doesn't go well with either eggs or oatmeal. [looks at Ziva] Why are you so tan?
Why are you so white?
I've always been like this.
It becomes you.
You're lying.
Through my teeth.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.