TV show quotes
That wasn't the way it looked, boss.
I know. I know.
The director kinda suckered me into that deal.
Ziva caved first.
I didn't cave in! I was trying --
McGee next.
It wasn't --
And my loyal St. Bernard held out until last.
Well I --
Probably all of 30 seconds.
We can't find him. But we're not going to give up until we do!
Or die trying!
[with a horrified look at McGee] Or die trying?! You had to put that in his head?
[Gibbs interviewing the two paramedics who were driving the ambulance that exploded]
We left the van unattended for four, maybe five minutes tops.
As soon at Patto hit the breaks...
The whole thing exploded into flames.
I think someone's trying to kill us.
Would you please stop that, J.B.? It was, it was an accident.
Who's trying to kill you?
Who knows? There's a lot of weirdos out there.
Tell me about it.
[Gibbs, Palmer, and Ducky are examining the charred remains of a Marine]
Survived IEDs in Iraq, RPGs in Afghanistan. Unfortunately the local Odocoileus virginianus was too much to bear.
That's a white-tailed...
Deer, yeah I know. Are you saying Bambi killed this Marine, Ducky?
No. But swerving at 60 miles an hour into a tree to avoid Bambi did.
I'm sorry doctor, I'm having a problem with the smell today.
Really? I think he smells like my mother's fried chicken.
Yeah, that'd be the problem.
Can I get a drumroll?
[Pauses for a few seconds] Ta-dah.
[Ziva and Tony are watching probie agents attending an autopsy.]
We had this same test at Mossad. If you fail, they terminate you.
How do you fail an autopsy?
[One of the probies vomits.]
By doing that. What happens if you fail here?
[Walking in] Well, it depends, Officer David. Some of them go on to become our Director.
According to Petty Officer Riley's C.O. he's been on leave the last six days.
Nice vacation, little camping, knife to the heart, little trip inside a bear's digestive tract.
Yeah I'd fire my travel agent.
Little square, Little square, Where have you been, Stuck on the behind of Riley's missing girlfriend.
Oh hey, I was just about to call Tony and McGee -- I think they were having sex.
[Incredulously] Tony and McGee?
[Upon seeing the name of the park's general store] Jackrabbit Slim's?
Just like the diner in Pulp Fiction?
[pauses, giving her an odd look] You don't know how to say 'porcupine', but you know the diner from Pulp Fiction?
Believe it or not, we actually have movie theaters in my country.
Lions and spiders and bears, oh my!
Do you mind if I grab a bat nap?
No, just, um, hang from the rafters.
Slam dunk. We're going out next weekend. Yeah!
That's not bad, Tony. Landis asked me out tonight. I said 'no'. I don't want him to think I'm sleazy.
That term is "easy."
What's the difference?
Mostly the makeup.
[Leaving for search for the killer in the forest] Ziva, you stay here with Ranger Hendricks.
Gibbs, I think I'd be better suited --
We're taking him alive. Let's roll. [He's leaving with others, Ziva and Ranger Hendricks stay]
I hate it when men try to protect you 'cause you're female.
He's not trying to protect me. He's afraid I'd kill Rowan before he tells us where the girl is.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
