TV show quotes
[To Tony, after she gave Ziva information on the case] Something wrong?
Oh, just wondering if Gibbs knows who Ziva's secret contact is.
We had a saying in Europe: "Whatever Gibbs doesn't know..."
"...can't hurt him".
No. "Can't hurt us".
My contact went through, Gibbs. The client Sean Oliver was protecting was...
Sean Oliver.
Tony and McGee are picking her up.
Not bad, Officer David.
Well, I do what I can.
When you see the director, thank her for me.
[Looking through two-way mirror at Sean Oliver sitting in the interrogation room] Do you think it would be inappropriate if, as director, I went in there and smacked that smile off her face?
Yeah, it would, but that's what you have me for.
You did me a favor tonight Jethro. Tonight is Smackdown night at the Mallard residence. Can you believe it? Mother's favorite television program, wrestling?
Mine too! I love the WWE.
I haven't the heart to tell her it's not real.
[Palmer's smile disappears]
Open that up, Probie.
No, you open it.
Who's the senior field agent?
Gibbs?
In this room, who's the senior field agent? [McGee is still hesitant] Open it! Chucklehead.
I've been a Navy wife for close to twenty years, Agent Gibbs. NCIS agents don't investigate mix-ups. At least not agents as old as you.
[chuckles] We have a new director, ma'am. A female director. Let's just say I'm not as politically correct as some of the younger agents.
What did you do to piss her off?
Well, if she was more like you then I wouldn't be sent out here to do a probie's job.
This guy's apartment makes McGee's look like the Four Seasons.
Woah, what is wrong with my home?
Uh, there's nothing that a bulldozer and few coats of paint wouldn't fix.
[Tony and McGee argue, Gibbs smacks both of them in the head]
I'm shutting up, Boss.
I agree, anyone so obviously fascinated with death has to be deeply disturbed on some level. (Abby walks behind her) I mean take these masks for instance, what kind of a person would collect such horrid looking things?
Me.
Of course by horrid I mean finely crafted and artistic.
[Mrs Wayne has come to the NCIS headquarters, Director Jenny Shepard is with her at the elevator]
He said the paper mix-up could be resolved with my husband's teeth.
If Special Agent Gibbs told you that, I'm sure it's the truth. He's one of the most knowledgeable agents I've ever worked with.
I had that impression. I'm glad he was assigned this, even it is punishment.
[surprised] Punishment?
The new director has it in for him.
[Mrs Wayne and Jenny walk into the squad room]
He told you that?
Well, I've seen it before. When Parker was XO for one of the first female ship captains. Phew! The woman was a nightmare trying to prove herself.
[Jenny brings Mrs Wayne to team's office space where they meet Gibbs and the team in front of his desk]
Special Agent Gibbs. [glares at him] I didn't know the new director was punishing you. [Gibbs smiles discreetly] She always seemed very fair to me.
[Tony, Ziva and McGee look on in amusement]
Well, you're a woman. She doesn't have anything to prove to you.
[spots the team looking on from the side and walks over to Ziva] How about you? What do you think? Do you think the new director is reasonable?
[smiles] Very.
There really is no foreplay with you, is there, Gibbs?
What, you been talking to my ex-wives again?
What are you doing?
I'm in the middle of a very serious negotiation.
On McGee's computer?
I know where you're going with this, and the answer is yes.
And what's the question?
Have I no shame?
She asked you out? You?!
Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are.
Trust me, you're not.
[Gibbs hits the back of Ziva's head]
Ow! What was that for?!
Alerting DiNozzo.
[Ziva throws a notepad at a smiling Tony]
You know how I feel about coincidences, Abs.
Equatorial pygmies know how you feel about coincidences, Gibbs.
[After listening to Abby describe a very complicated sequence of events that led to an explosion] Not an accident.
Not unless the angel of death is going through a Rube Goldberg stage.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
