McGee said you wanted to see me. Actually, he said I was under house arrest, but I figured that was just your way of making a point.
Do I have to tell you the name of the creek you're up without a paddle? Or how deep it is?
I see you're familiar with this particular creek.
I'm sorry I took a long lunch, Boss, but I'm not working a hot case.
What's a hot case to you, DiNozzo? Shadowing a tight ass?
War is not fair! And we are at war. Until I dismiss you, which could be any moment now, you will fight that war 24/7. That includes eating, sleeping, taking a crap. Got that?
Yes, Boss. Can I say something?
Only if it has something to do with that bastard I'm after!
Boss... You've really gotta see Moby Dick.
Well, what's wrong, other than the Hamas guy?
The Hamas guy! You know: the terrorist, the bastard, the ass! We call him everything but his name. You know why that is?
Because we don't know his name?
Because you're not working a hot case. I want his name! I want it today! And don't tell me it's Moby Dick!
Okay...make him older than mummy dust! (the image changes) Oh that's so cool! Now make him a young guy on his first date! (the image changes again) Hm...he wasn't a late bloomer like you McGee! (the image changes again) He's cute!
(noticing his frown) Oh (walks towards him) Not cuter than you!
(as she puts her arm around his neck he smiles bashfully) Abs! (laughs) I'm trying to work!
(blushes) No I like it but uh...(admits his feelings) I can't concentrate!
Okay (walks backwards) What if watched (starts yelling) FROM ALL THE WAY OVER...(backs into Gibbs and jumps forward)
[McGee has been working on the NCIS computer network by himself, despite having no orders to do so.]
You have any idea where thinking like this is going to lead you?
Promotion. You need any help, you ask Tony. It looks like he could use a workout.
[After Gibbs, and an irritated Tony leave]
Don't let him intimidate you, McGee, that's my job today.
[smashing cell phone on desk] God, I hate this thing! It's crap!
There's a secretary from the Pentagon downstairs and she claims her boss is being held hostage by his computer.
See? [holds up smashed phone] There's a reason I didn't trust these things. [tosses it to McGee] Here, reboot that or something. [to Kate] Send her up.
Or you can do what we always do.
[Tony pulls a box out of a filing cabinet drawer filled with new, unopened phones and hands it to McGee]
It's his third one this month.
[Later on]
[as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
[brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
McGee, where are you going?
Well, I got some good news, and some bad news for you. You've just been promoted. [holds up envelope with McGee's promotion] To a full-time field agent.
Really? That's incredible! What's-
[After he leaves]
So, I-I'm one of you guys now, right? No more hazing?
Well, I-I just want to say that I never took it personal and I--
[Kate and Tony both head-slap McGee]
You know I could really get used to that.
[slams a portable fan onto his desk] Anyone, and I mean anyone, know when the air conditioner is getting fixed? What about the name of the genius who invented windows that don't open? Like, what are we on, a space ship? Windows should open!
[checks him out admiringly] Ooh! Have you been working out?
All summer long. Thanks for finally noticing!
No. I meant right now. 'Cause you're sweating like a pig and it's not very... [whispers] attractive!
[She sits down... and jumps up with a shriek when she realizes McGee is under her desk.]
[awkwardly] Morning, Agent Todd!
You have two seconds to tell me what you're doing down there!
I'm upgrading the computer system, and, uh...
[She hauls him to his feet by his ears.]
N...n...no! I wasn't looking! Ahh! I wasn't looking!
[walking in] Tony, Did I just see what I thought I saw?
Um, out of respect for my co-workers, I'd have to say "yes, you did" and it's kind of disturbing.
I agree. Put your damn shirt on! This is a federal office building, not a gym! [notices McGee] Damn it, McGee, why are you still here?
The air conditioner's been turned off and it won't get turned on 'till the network's back on.
And you think it's acceptable to be crawling around all day, by yourself?
I just wanted it fixed before I returned to Norfolk.
You have any idea where thinking like this is going to lead you?
Promotion. You need any help, you ask Tony. It looks like he could use a workout.
[McGee notices Tony's death stare.]
It's not that hard, so I'll probably do it myself.
Don't let him intimidate you, McGee. That's my job today.
[Her phone rinks and she snatches it.]
Oh, I believe you. But let me ask you this... is she a pantyhose or a thong girl? 'Cause I'm thinking thong... [winces as Kate elbows him in the gut]
