TV show quotes
The important thing was that we were both fliers. We were brothers up there. We were the same. We're all the same. We were fighting each other. [takes out the letter] Walter told me that he saved me that day because he wanted to remind himself who he was. He's dying and all he can see is the people he killed over ideas that weren't even his. He can't forgive himself.
It's not an easy thing to do, Dad.
Walter, nothing can make up for the lives we took, we both know that. But what you did was more than you know. You made my boy possible, Walter. And he helps people, Walter, he's a good man. [to Gibbs] He's the best person I know.
[Tony and Carrie Clark are walking out of the lift into the squad room]
[breathes in deeply and sighs] You always smell so great.
Let me guess, you missed the sexual harrassment meeting again this year.
You notice anything different about Carrie, Boss? No wedding ring. Told you the husband was a handbag.
[looks at Tony, confused] Handbag?
[as he leaves the squad room] Something useless you hang on your arm.
[chuckles] Oh.
[annoyed] Do you have to know everything?
Yes, it's in my DNA.
What's so funny?
That was Hollander in HR. She claims that she saw you this morning at the front gate getting off a city bus.
Yeah, that was me. Listen I know I made fun of you in the past for riding the bus but I have to admit I was wrong. I've been using public transportation and I really like it.
You're kidding.
No, I have time to read, make some calls and best of all, get to watch people. People are fascinating.
[bemused] Ok Tony. I'm---I don't even know what I am right know...but I know you and this is not you.
[Tony and McGee enter the squad room and watch on as HR officer Rhoda inundates NSA Agent Ellie Bishop in paperwork and forms.]
[grimaces] Rhoda!
Bishop's gonna be useless for the next week. [turns to Tony] Should we rescue her?
No. If you can't handle Rhoda, Gibbs is gonna melt her brain.
[confused] What just happened? Did I do something wrong?
No, you just passed your first test. Rhoda from HR. [whispers] Legendary.
But don't get too kind. Still gotta take that polygraph.
I have to take another polygraph??!
Uh-hmm. And then all you have to do is survive Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. In case you haven't heard the man––
[in a low voice] Is actually coming up behind you right now.
[Gibbs passes behind Tony and McGee and goes to his desk.]
[glares at Bishop] You're not supposed to do that.
[crestfallen] What do I do now???
[smirks] You've made a friend.
[enters crime scene with Palmer] It's been a brutal week. I have a chill I just can't shake.
Me too. Anybody mind if I do some jumping jacks?
Yes!
[Gibbs and Tony break into a hotel room with guns drawn to find Diane lying on the bed.]
[whispers to Gibbs] That's funny, that looks like your ex-wife.
[Fornell emerges from the bathroom, wearing only a towel.]
Champagne first, and then a little...
[He catches sight of Gibbs and Tony, staring intently at him.]
Well, tie me up and call me Loretta.
[blinks] Wow.
Wowsers.
So Agent Fornell was married to Gibbs' ex-wife?
[grins] Yup.
And the owner of the second cellphone from our crime scene was dating Gibbs' ex-wife?
Yup.
Phoah. That's quite a coincidence.
[chuckles] I know. It really is.
[Unknown to Tony and McGee, Fornell just came out of the elevator into the squad room.]
You know, it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Best to leave the psychoanalysis to Ducky. If you value breathing.
[looks behind to Bishop] Bishop, you could've warned me.
[innocently] You said I wasn't supposed to do that!
[walks in] Tobias, hey, what are you doing here?
Just thought you might need some help. Diane's really worried. Just want to put her mind at ease.
[smirks] Yeah, uh-huh.
You shot me... in the caboose. You owe me.
I'm just sayin' that there's something different this time, maybe because we're ex's. [looks at Gibbs] You should try it. [awkwardly] I mean, with another one of your ex-wives...not this one 'cause...this one's taken.
[getting out of Fornell's car] Can I go home now?
You are the worst advice-giver I've ever met! Don't quit your day job.
[Gibbs brings Fornell and Diane's daughter Emily into the squad room. Fornell is sitting at Gibbs' desk watching Diane confront Emily.]
[furiously] Emily, do you have any idea what kind of trouble you are in, missy?!
Me? You're the one who's ruining your life!
I beg your pardon?
[sarcastically] Uh, www-dot-you-and-dad-suck-together-dot-com? Or are you too desperate at this point to care?
[aside to Gibbs] Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh.
How dare you talk to me like that!
You and Dad speak to each other? All you guys do is fight!
We do not fight! We are just VERY LOUD!
[to Tobias] And you! How could you do this to me?!
Honey, no one is doing anything to you. Your mother and I are just... wait a second. How do you know about... your mother and me?
I know everything. I put a keystroke logger on both your Facebook accounts.
You what?!
You need a warrant to do that!
[Abby rushes into the squadroom.]
Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! I cracked the suspect's cellphone. There are boatloads of juicy texts on there from him to Fornell's ex-wife.
[Fornell looks at an embarrassed Diane]
I mean, this stuff is kinkier than Fifty Shades of Gray. You have got to come see this...
[She catches sight of Fornell, Diane and Emily.]
Fornell... ex-wife... daughter. [laughs weakly] Oops.
[Fornell runs towards Abby's lab.]
[chasing after him] You get back here or I will smash every computer in that lab!
[chasing after her] Don't you touch my babies!
[to Gibbs] Can I apply for asylum?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
