Ellie Bishop quotes from NCIS

You have a very commanding voice, Agent Gibbs... and big hands.

Bishop

(sotto) Oh, boy.

McGee

You're lurking.

Tony

I'm gathering data.

McGee

Ah, Bishop.

Tony

Yeah, she just got back from Oklahoma. Visiting the fam. Trying to figure out whether Jake's still in the picture or not.

Tony

Still wearing her wedding ring.

McGee

Seems in good spirits.

Tony

She dumped Jake.

McGee

They're still married.

Tony

What?

McGee

What? This Opposite Day or something?

Tony

No, every day is Opposite Day when it comes to a woman. Especially a woman scorned.

McGee

And Jake did some serious scorning.

Tony

He's a dead man. Bishop's the last person you'd expect to slit someone's throat in their sleep.

McGee

Which would make her the first.

Bishop

You know I can hear every word you're saying.

Bishop

It's the skylight. The angle causes an acoustic reflection from the stairs to my desk.

Tony

Really?

Bishop

Mm-hmm, just like Nancy at the Far East desk can hear everything I say.

Tony

Nancy, can you hear me?

McGee

Hey, Nancy.

Tony

Wow. I've been here 15 years, I... That's how he does it.

McGee

How who does what?

Tony

Gibbs. That's how he knows everything we're saying. There must be a sweet spot in this room. A little acoustic......where he can hear every single thing we say. I bet you he comes in here early and he waits, bides his time, like a howler monkey in heat waiting for exactly the right moment to...

Gibbs

Step in and finish your sentence?

Tony

Exactly. Thank you, boss.

Gibbs

Howler monkey?

Tony

Well, yeah. You know, primates are fascinating. I've been watching a lot of Discovery Channel.

Bishop

We've got to shut [the airport] down.

Gibbs

Or not.

Palmer

(wearing Abby's "thinking cap") If we shut it down, then Cross will know we're on to him. If we leave it open, then we know where he'll be. (stops, surprised at himself)

Gibbs

What he said.

Palmer

(to Abby) This thing really works!

I'm not surprised he ended up in undercover. He was unattached, he was persuasive, he was clever, a bit unstable.

Ellie Bishop

You just described a sociopath.

Yeah, but only the good kind.

Bishop

That's not a thing...

Bishop

Torres spent eight years doing nothing but undercover work. Why?

Different strokes. He probably views a desk job as a fate worse than death. Me? I get my kicks screaming at probies.

Bishop

Yeah, but Torres is in deep. Who knows what sort of things he had to do to maintain his cover? And then when the mission ends, he still has to carry that with him.

So do you, and Gibbs and McGee. Every action we take has a consequence.

McGee

We gotta go. Talk to you on Monday.

Oh, you guys are late to spinning class or something?

Bishop

Uh, no, Gibbs is famous for coming in just before the weekend starts and saying––

Gibbs

[walks into the room] Grab your gear.

McGee

[hopefully] That a well-timed illustration, boss?

Gibbs

[ignores McGee] Got a death in Quantico.

Hey, would you ask Superman to do your taxes?

Bishop

Um..

Or LeBron James to babysit your kid? Would you do that?

Bishop

Yeah, I bet he's good with kids.

You do understand my point, right?

Bishop

No. Does it have something to do with why you're using McGee's computer?

Yeah. He asked me to input the names from the ship's manifest into the system. So if anything pops up, then we get an alert.

Bishop

Oh. That's a good idea.

Yeah, it's a fantastic idea, except it's a mis-usage of my superpowers.

Bishop

Which are...?

Kicking down doors, breaking through windows. The tango.

Bishop

[sees Quinn looking around the front flowerbed] So you're what-- gardening?

Nope. There's always a spare key. And it's never under the mat anymore, but it is here. I call it front-stoop fishing.

Bishop

What are you doing?

Delilah shouldn't know.

What?

They've been sleeping on a grave!

Yeah, and not just sleeping, that part we got. But what happened to, "you can't be lying, bro"?

Well, this he can lie about.

Bishop

Hypocrisy much?

No, it's not hypocrisy. This is different.

It's so not different.

Yes, it is different. He knew about a triple homicide before he moved in. This, he didn't know about.

And now that he knows, why shouldn't Delilah know?

(finally letting out how freaked he is) Hell, nobody should know! I wish I didn't know!

(emerges from the fitting room in his tuxedo) Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about! Please, no pictures... nah, go for it. (twirls)

Bishop

Woof. (realizes) Was that out loud?

Mmm-hmm.

Bishop

Mmm.

Gibbs

Any problems?

Well, apart from Bishop almost blowing up our cover, no, we're pretty good.

Bishop

Excuse me?

You shouldn't have slapped his hand away.

Bishop

I don't give out free samples! I got three kids to feed and a sick Nana in Boca. [off Torres's look] What? You told me to have a back story, that's my back story.

No, that's actually... that's actually pretty good.

Bishop

Thank you.