Kate Todd quotes from NCIS

Gibbs

Put someone in a wedding dress

Kate

Tony would look cute.

Gibbs

No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.

Kate

Well, McGee then.

Gibbs

No, he's with Tony.

Kate

Abby.

Gibbs

No, up to her tats in forensic tests.

Kate

Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.

Tony

Do you know what bongos are? Well the beatnik is playing them in my head!

Gibbs

Tony, Kate, McGee. MTAC now!

Tony

(mutters) Tony, Kate, McGee? (louder) Tony, Kate, McGee!

Kate

(walking with Tony) Beatnik gone?

Tony

(nodding) Yeah!

Kate

Cool! (starts clicking her fingers rhythmically)

Kate

You find the perfect 50's woman and she almost kills you DiNozzo!

Tony

She was so obedient!

Kate

Yeah. It's scary how impressed you are by that!

Tony

I think Gibbs enjoys this more than sex.

Kate

That would explain the three wives.

Kate

You know, most people tend to their personal hygiene at home.

Tony

(clipping his nails) What, this bothers you?

Kate

No, What bothers me is that it doesn't bother me anymore.

Gibbs

Get the truck.

Tony

Where we going, Boss?

Gibbs

Smoky Corners, West Virginia. Marine Helo was found abandoned, crews missing.

Kate

Any leads?

Gibbs

You tell me. It's sitting in the middle of a crop circle.

McGee

Abby's gonna make us crazy.

Gibbs

Come on, let's go!

Kate

Eww, Tony!

Tony

What?

Kate

You are getting way too comfortable around me. Okay, clipping your nails is one thing, but that, that is crossing the line.

Tony

Come on.

Kate

No, I'm serious.

Tony

Hey Boss. Got statements from Seamen Jennings and Wilkins. Can I cut them loose? They've been at sea a long time.

Gibbs

Know where to find them?

Tony

Motel at Virginia Beach. Girlfriends are waiting.

Gibbs

Yeah. [Tony signals to the Seamen to leave]

Tony

[to Kate] Haven't been with their women in 6 months, 3 weeks and 18 hours. [shudders] Longest I went was 11 days, 6 hours.

Kate

I can't believe you actually know these things.

Tony

It's a gift.

Gibbs

Gas pain?

Kate

[smile fades away] What? No!

Gibbs

Well, then stop grinning and tell me what you got

Kate

When he found the first Jane Doe while jogging, Petty Officer Goetz was in port on a carrier, the Teddy Roosevelt.

Gibbs

[looks through his case files] Agent Dawes interrogated him a number of times, on The Big Stick and here.

Kate

The Big Stick?

Gibbs

Teddy Roosevelt. "Talk softly, carry a big stick."

Kate

[realizes] Big stick! Cute. [continues] Goetz stayed in the Navy, is a Chief and arrived in Norfolk in the same carrier as the seamen who found our Jane Doe. The "Honest Abe"?

Gibbs

Shall not perish.

Kate

What?

Gibbs

Lincoln is not the "Honest Abe". It's "Shall Not Perish".

Kate

[bemused] What kind of nickname is "Shall Not Perish"?

Gibbs

[resumes his work] Ask Chief Goetz when you pull him in for questioning.

Kate

Ok. [goes back to her desk]

McGee

The Emancipator!

McGee

That would be a good name for the Abraham Lincoln. [Gibbs looks at him] Since he signed the Emancipation Proclamation.... [Gibbs continues staring him down until McGee realizes and stops talking.]

Kate

You writin' my name, right?

Tony

What? I just wanna know if it's mine. She kinda sleeps around a lot, if you know what I mean.

Kate

If I did, it's cuz he ain't any good in bed.

Tony

Least I didn't sleep with my cousin.

Kate

You slept with my sista!

Tony

I thought it was you!

Kate

She weighs 300 pounds.

Tony

She was wearing your earrings.

That's enough! If you two can't be civil, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Kate

Look, is there anywhere I can wait away from him? Please? I'm beggin' you.

There's an empty exam room behind you two doors on the right.

Kate

Thank you. [She flings her gum at Tony as she leaves.]

Tony

I'm sorry. She slept with my brother. And my best friend. At the same time.

Kate

Wow, I thought you were the only one who could piss him off like that.

Tony

You never met his second wife.

Kate

Have I mentioned that I was hand-picked to protect the President of the United States?

McGee

Five times!

Tony

Are you gonna take that abuse McGee?

McGee

No! [flips Kate over and pins her on the floor]

Kate

I like it McGee! Why were you holding back?

McGee

Well you...I mean I've never wrestled--

Kate

A girl? [to Tony] Tony, I look like a girl to you?

Tony

All I see are two NCIS special agents.

Kate

Me, too!

Gibbs

[hangs up his phone] Training's over. We're headed to Quantico. Guy tried to outrun a 500-pound bomb.

Kate

And?

Gibbs

He lost.

Tony

[attempting to comfort McGee] She had three older brothers growing up. I think there's some unresolved issues there.

McGee

Ya think?!

Gibbs

With luck, he'll spit on my boots.

Kate

Looking for a reason to whack him in the head, Gibbs?

Gibbs

No. To shoot him.

Kate

(whispering) What are you doing?!

Tony

Uh... listening.

Kate

That is just wrong.

Tony

Sneaking your horny boyfriend into a house filled with armed federal agents who are on the lookout for Al-Qaeda assassins, that's wrong, Kate. Me, I'm just trying to gather some valuable intel so I can do my job better.

Gibbs

[takes Kate aside] Corporal Ernest Yost. Dig up his SRB.

Kate

Got a Social Security number?

Gibbs

They didn't use them for serial numbers when he served.

Kate

So how am I supposed to get his SRB without a serial number.

Gibbs

Well, Kate, you can ask him.

Kate

Gibbs, I doubt that he could remember his--

Gibbs

Corporal Yost!

Yo!

Gibbs

Serial number!

330090, sir!

Gibbs

Or you could just look him up under Medal of Honor recipients...

Gibbs

You don't win the Medal of Honor, Kate, you're awarded it for conspicuous gallantry above and beyond the call of duty.