Kate Todd quotes from NCIS

Tony

Just accept the fact that you're gonna get lost.

Kate

Why do you assume I'm going to?

Tony

Because everyone does. [Gibbs looks back at Kate] A carrier's a big and confusing place first time on board.

Kate

Duly noted.

Gibbs

Numbers are stenciled on the bulkhead. First one tells you the deck level, they're called bullseyes.

Kate

Deck level.

Gibbs

Second one, the frame number. Third tells the compartment's position in relation to the ship's center line. Last letter tells you what the space is used for.

Tony

Crossing from port to starboard to starboard to port isn't as simple as going straight across.

Gibbs

Sometimes you gotta go up one deck and down another.

Tony

Or down one deck and up another.

Gibbs

Sometimes two.

Tony

Frustrating.

Gibbs

Not to mention confusing. [smiles at Kate] But you'll get the hang of it.

Tony

After you get lost a few times.

Kate

Petty Officer!

Ma'am?

Kate

You just came out of the urinaloger's office!

I hope not! I just had a haircut in there!

Kate

(downhearted) Go on! Tell me how many bulk heads, passage ways and corridors in to go to traverse there!

It's right next door!

Kate

Of course it is! Thank you (pissed off) Petty Officer!

Kate

[after she spills Gibbs' coffee] What do you put in your coffee?

Gibbs

Coffee.

Kate

Okay...I'll...just go down the hall and get you another cup.

Gibbs

That's...not coffee.

Tony

I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.

Kate

....to replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.

Gibbs

You claustrophobic?

Kate

No.

Gibbs

Good. [walks away]

Kate

I'm going?!

Tony

Don't forget to wax.

Gibbs

Go and un-hydrate.

Kate

I never heard it called that before.

Kate

[after an emergency blow to the surface aboard a submarine] Wow...

Gibbs

Yeah, that's what they all tell me.

Tony

Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.

McGee

I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?

Tony

[nods] 

McGee

I went with Mom.

Tony

[stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby] 

Kate

I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?

Gibbs

He told him he got a tat on his ass.

Kate

[Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]

Kate

[rants to Gibbs] What is this? Victorian England? The men with their cigars and brandy while the ladies sip tea in another room? To replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.

Gibbs

[calmly] You claustrophobic?

Kate

No.

Gibbs

[smiles] Good. [walks away]

Kate

I'm going?!

Tony

Don't forget to wax.

Gibbs

(puts a bottle of water in front of Kate) Drink.

Kate

What's with all the water?

Gibbs

You got to stay hydrated on a submarine!

Kate

All you've had me doing is hydrating!

Gibbs

Drink it! (after she has drunk a mouthful) So how's your bladder?

Kate

(shocked at her boss asking her that) What?

GIbbs

The COB's at the end of the passageway keeping an eye on us! You've got to distract him! (she looks at him as if to say "carry on") You're gonna need help working the toilet!

Kate

Gibbs...

Gibbs

Kate. On a submarine it's a very complicated piece of machinery!

Kate

Is that why you've been shoving water down my throat for the past hour?

Gibbs

I want to check out Petty Officer Thompson!

Kate

Well you don't have to drown me. You could just ask!

Gibbs

Hydrating's good for ya. Go un-hydrate!

Kate

(turns to face him) I've never heard it called that before!

Gibbs

(shooing her out the door, whispers) Go on!

Gibbs

Did I say both of you?

Kate

Well, you didn't not say both of us, Gibbs.

Tony

Yes, she's kinda got a point there, boss.

Tony

[naked, to an Iguana that crawled into bed with him, with gun drawn] Halt!

Kate

[speechless]

Gibbs

I need coffee.

Gibbs

Why is that women always want to fix what doesn't need fixing?

Kate

Makes us feel all warm inside.

Gibbs

So does scotch, but it doesn't cost you a house.

Tony

[naked, to an Iguana that crawled into bed with him, with gun drawn] Halt!

Kate

[speechless]

Gibbs

I need coffee.

Tony

No!

Kate

It's the only room with a bath! Men take showers and women take baths!

Tony

Why does the woman thing come up when the ship is sinking? (sarcastically) Or when there's one room with a bath!

Gibbs

Talk to ya mañana!

Tony

Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.

Kate

Because he probably killed them.