Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

Gibbs

What's on your mind?

DiNozzo Sr

Junior and I have hit another rough patch.

Gibbs

[chuckles] Ya think?

DiNozzo Sr

You've been more of a father to him than I have in the last twelve years. He respects you.

Tony

Wow. Such a shame. Vintage '62 Telecaster.

Gibbs

[deadpan] Yeah. A real tragedy.

Tony

Yeah, 'cause... [looks up to see Gibbs glaring at him; smile fades from his face] The dead people are a shame too...it's just.... [looks at Gibbs sheepishly]

Gibbs

Anything I can do?

Bishop

Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.

Gibbs

Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?

Bishop

Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?

Gibbs

If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.

Bishop

All right.

Tony

Oh, come on!

Gibbs

How's your love life, DiNozzo?

Tony

Huh?

Gibbs

You still seeing the secretary?

McGee

He means Andrea.

Bishop

Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?

Tony

Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.

Friends with benefits?

Gibbs

Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Elected officials need to be strong. McLane was anything but.

I think you're being a little disrespectful.

I think he deserved it.

Gibbs

Uh oh.

There's things you trust when you live in Louisiana. Trust the river will rise, people will rise to the occasion, no matter what the challenge. Trust the rain will never stop pouring, the drinks will never stop flowing and music will never stop playing. After all the hell you go through living here, you trust in God almighty, and you trust in friends and family. All those years, the man I call my brother was living a lie and I took it, hook line and sinker.

Gibbs

You know the truth now.

Bishop

You've heard of Amazon?

Gibbs

Yeah, the big one.

Abby

Sometimes, I love my job. And sometimes, I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.

Gibbs

Well, it could be worse.

Abby

How?

Gibbs

I'd have to climb in there with you.

Jackson Gibbs saved my life. I was headed down a bad road when he hired me. He said that, "the world was bad enough as it is. You've got no right to..."

Gibbs

[smiles] "...make it any worse."

You know, no one ever cared enough to say stuff like that to me before.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Thanks for making the trip, LJ.

He was proud of you, Leroy.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Yeah, I was proud of him, too.

McGee

You mind if we search it?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I need probable cause. I don't think you meet that threshold.

McGee

[looks at Gibbs in amusement] You a law student?

Criminology major

Gibbs

Good. But today you're gonna get a practical education to see how the system really works firsthand.

Tony

[looks at phone] Delilah! A videochat!

Tony

[horrified] Oh my god, you're very naked!

Tony

Uh, sorry! [turns off phone]

Gibbs

[matter-of-factly] Teach you not to answer other people's phones, DiNozzo.

[looks at the row of urinals] How do you do it? It's like pigs at a trough.

Gibbs

In some places it really is a trough, ma'am. [he and Vance look at each other] Fenway, Wrigley...

Vance

Mm-hmm, mostly stadiums.

Gibbs

What's your name?

Petty Officer Felton

Gibbs

What's your first name?

Patricia

Gibbs

call you Patty?

Gibbs

[grins] You hate being called Patty.

Tony

35 seconds...running out of time, Boss.

Gibbs

Jaime, you've got two choices. You drop the weapon and I diffuse the bomb. Or I shoot you and I diffuse the bomb.

Tony

The bomb thing, that was kinda fun right. Next time, you might want to give us a heads up tough, because I didn't pack a diaper.