Tony DiNozzo quotes from NCIS

Tony

The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.

Kate

RIO?

Tony

Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.

Kate

[to Gibbs] What do you need two B's for?

Gibbs

Second one's for bastard.

Tony

That's kinda touching, Gibbs, remembering the day you hired me.

Gibbs

Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Gibbs

If that thing came off an aircraft, someone filed a TFOA report for it.

Kate

TFOA?

Tony

Things falling off aircraft.

Kate

You're kidding.

Gibbs

Nope. Navy keeps records on that sort of thing, all the way back to biplanes.

Tony

Five years with Gibbs; I'm amazed the guy didn't end up in a strait jacket.

Gibbs

What was that?

Tony

Nothing, boss. Just praising your communication skills.

Kate

All I'm saying is that... things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed, you know, under the surface, kinda.

Tony

I have no idea what you said.

Kate

Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.

Tony

Just accept the fact that you're gonna get lost.

Kate

Why do you assume I'm going to?

Tony

Because everyone does. [Gibbs looks back at Kate] A carrier's a big and confusing place first time on board.

Kate

Duly noted.

Gibbs

Numbers are stenciled on the bulkhead. First one tells you the deck level, they're called bullseyes.

Kate

Deck level.

Gibbs

Second one, the frame number. Third tells the compartment's position in relation to the ship's center line. Last letter tells you what the space is used for.

Tony

Crossing from port to starboard to starboard to port isn't as simple as going straight across.

Gibbs

Sometimes you gotta go up one deck and down another.

Tony

Or down one deck and up another.

Gibbs

Sometimes two.

Tony

Frustrating.

Gibbs

Not to mention confusing. [smiles at Kate] But you'll get the hang of it.

Tony

After you get lost a few times.

Tony

You know, in the two years I've worked for Gibbs, he's never shaken my hand once. Never.

I was in the office two years before he even looked me in the eye.

Tony

Really!

Three years before he called me by name, four till he got it right. By then I'd actually gotten used to "Steve". [Burley and Tony laugh] He must really like you.

Kate

[after she spills Gibbs' coffee] What do you put in your coffee?

Gibbs

Coffee.

Kate

Okay...I'll...just go down the hall and get you another cup.

Gibbs

That's...not coffee.

Tony

I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.

Timothy McGee

I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.

Tony

Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.

Kate

....to replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.

Gibbs

You claustrophobic?

Kate

No.

Gibbs

Good. [walks away]

Kate

I'm going?!

Tony

Don't forget to wax.

McGee

That's breaking and entering.

Tony

No. That was breaking... and this is entering.

Tony

Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.

McGee

I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?

Tony

[nods] 

McGee

I went with Mom.

Tony

[stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby] 

Kate

I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?

Gibbs

He told him he got a tat on his ass.

Kate

[Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]

Kate

[rants to Gibbs] What is this? Victorian England? The men with their cigars and brandy while the ladies sip tea in another room? To replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.

Gibbs

[calmly] You claustrophobic?

Kate

No.

Gibbs

[smiles] Good. [walks away]

Kate

I'm going?!

Tony

Don't forget to wax.

Tony

Normally I hate priority rides, but who cares if it's going to...

Gibbs

What's wrong with priority rides?

Tony

C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?

Gibbs

Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.

Tony

[laughs, while on a Gulfstream Aircraft] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best.

Gibbs

I miss canvas seats.

Gibbs

Did I say both of you?

Kate

Well, you didn't not say both of us, Gibbs.

Tony

Yes, she's kinda got a point there, boss.