[Over a shot of Fingal's workplace]
CCrow
SAT farms of the future!
S8Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
[Explaining Fingal's problem, secretly watching movies doing work]
AAppalonia
He was working in the data flow center of NoviCorp as a processor third class. He had a terrible job: monitoring routine data output on global climate control.
[The Warner Brothers logo appears on Fingal's screen.]
And its effect on Bugs Bunny.
. . .
Man, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.
. . .
AAppalonia
And he'd been doing it for a few weeks before they caught him doing it.
MAMike [as Appalonia]
Data entrying with no pants.
. . .
[Fingal gets caught.]
CCrow
We now return to Billy Madison.
[Fingal has been sent to therapy.]
[on the therapist] It's Merv Griffin!
CComputer
Ask about his mother.
SAServo [as Computer]
Ask if she wears Army boots.
So againg lesbian nuns run the fututre?
[A shuttle passenger dashes empoverished Fingal's hopes of "doppling" into a stallion.]
I got 47 credits. What kind of a dopple do you think that buys?
SPShuttle Passenger
An anteater... maybe.
CCrow
Whoa, huge slam on anteaters out of nowhere!
[At Nirvana Village, workers pass by Fingal with "doppling" people on a tray.]
Oh, look. Must be a Jack-In-The-Box in the food court.
[A boy looks at routing tags while the teacher is explaining what the colors mean.]
BBoy
And blue, like this?
TTeacher
Well, that's rather unusual. We can talk about it later.
BBoy
Is it sexy?
TTeacher
We'll talk about it later! Now come along, the class is waiting in the doppling room.
[The boy secretly switches a blue tag with a orange tag before leaving.]
[chuckling] The littlest sexual deviant.
. . .
[Later, the boy switches Fingal's green routing tag with the blue one.]
There's your precious Canadian healthcare system at work. [N]
[A medico and teacher stop restless little Desirée from playing with Fingal's exposed brain, while Marco looks for more mischief.]
Is it "Children of the Damned Day" at the brain institute here?
[Fingal's sleeping body is silhouetted against his identicube.]
CCrow
Doctor Who... the hell cares!
You know, isn't it weird how life imitates art, and I'm, like, sleeping right now, too?
[Fingal has been "doppled" into a baboon.]
At least I'm not an anteater.
This movie just hates anteaters!
. . .
This cost me every credit I have?
He's gonna start flinging it any minute now!
. . .
MAMike [as Fingal]
I'm as clumsy as a stupid, repulsive anteater!
[The "doppled" Fingal is looking at a giraffe.]
What happened to him? He looks drunk to me!
CACrow [as giraffe]
I'm on medication, okay?
[An overhead shot of workers running around Nirvana Village trying to intercept a unauthorized communication.]
SAServo [as Worker]
Embassy Suites is having a free brunch! Woo!
[Fingal's identicube begins flahing red.]
CCrow
Must be Christmas on the Borg ship.
[singing] See you on the dark side of Raul...
You know, I hope nobody ever scrolls up this cinema.
[Fingal is talking to Pierre, a Peter Lorre lookalike.]
It's Asian Pee-Wee.
. . .
CCrow
Who's he trying to do? Jimmy Stewart? Uh, James Cagney. No, no, no, wait... John Kenneth Gaulbraith. No, no, no, Ram Jazz. Uh, Terry "Hulk" Hogan, maybe...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.