Scenes with Ted Husing 4
[Narrator Ted Husing describes animal catcher Ross Allen's current task.]
THTed Husing
Well, this is a different assignment, and a true depiction of actually filling an order he recently received.
JAJoel [as Ted Husing]
Kill Colonel Kurtz!
THTed Husing
It read: "Want immediately one live bobcat, two cub black bears, and three six-foot diamondback rattlers."
CACrow [as Groucho Marx]
And two hard-boiled eggs.
SAServo [as Harpo Marx]
Honk!
CACrow [as Groucho Marx]
Make that three hard-boiled eggs. [N]
[A bobcat runs up a tree to escape Ross.]
THTed Husing
Hey, Mister Cat, you can't do that! Don't you know you're wanted in Chicago?
SAServo [as Husing]
For voting twice?
THTed Husing
Say, you made a mistake picking that tree. I'm afraid you're out of luck this time.
CACrow [as Bobcat]
Naaah, bite me! I will prevail! Mine is a noble race!
[Ross finally catches and bags the bobcat.]
THTed Husing
Well, it's in the bag! And so Ross Allen fills one third of his day's orders. What's next?
Hurting the people you know and love?
Chasing rabbits on a mini-bike until their hearts explode?
THTed Husing
Now you've got a boatload of live cargo -- a wildcat, three six-foot rattlers, and a couple of little teddy bears. It seems to me, I'd call it day, or call a taxi, or...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes
