Jimmy quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

I'll go along with you this morning, Jimmy, on these first two calls.

Gee, that'll be swell, Mr. Warren. I'll sure appreciate your help. I always learn something, too, when we go out together.

Yeah, maybe I can kiss your butt on the way out, huh? How about that?

Maybe I shouldn't say this, Your Honor...

...but I'm Esther Rolle!

But... I accuse my parents!

Servo

Yes! We have a title!

I'm just a lonely boy…

Mike

Why does that not surprise me?

[catching Jimmy listening to the radio] Jimmy!

Good morning, Mr. Haskins.

Leave that radio alone. Sweep up the place. You're getting paid to work, not entertain yourself!

Okay... Hey, that Creeper guy murdered somebody again last night.

Oh, murders, detectives, gangsters... that's all you think about! Get the broom.

I think about sex, too!

"Eat me, you hateful old fossil. Signed, Jimmy-" HEY!

[holding the grocery list] Where'd this come from?

Somebody stuck it under the door.

[annoyed] Uhh...

I hate customers!

Don't you think it's kinda funny? Sticking a note under the door?

No!

Go to hell!

And don't go trying to make a mystery out of it!

Piss off! [Mike is starting to laugh out of character]

Somebody's probably too busy to pick up the stuff.

Could be the Creeper.

[packing a grocery bag in agitation] Creeper, Creeper, Creeper! You give ME the creeps!

Servo

Zinga!

Well he could be! That'd be a swell reason why he wouldn't want to see anybody, or come out, except at night.

You just gotta deliver these groceries. And don't forget the money. A dollar and a quarter.

Why'd you hire me if you hate me so...?

Okay... but I still think it might be-

I know! So he's the Creeper. Now you just creep along with that- [stomps his foot down; Mike is starting to laugh uncontrollably] I MEAN HURRY UP WITH THAT STUFF!!! And then get back here and do the rest of your work!

Dear GOD, I HATE YOU!!! I hope you DIE!!!

[from behind a door] How much?

A dollar and a quarter.

Here's a toenail.