Pinkie Pie quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Maud Pie

[deadpan] What do you call an Alicorn with no wings and no horn? [beat] Earth pony.

Pinkie Pie

[laughs]

Maud Pie

[deadpan] But seriously, being an Earth pony isn't so bad. We've got magic powers, too. Like walking around. And picking stuff up with our teeth.

Maud Pie

[deadpan] That's sarcasm, by the way.

Pinkie Pie

[laughs] That's funny, 'cause it's true!

Mudbriar

[to Unnamed Unicorn Mare #3] Goodbye.

Pinkie Pie

That's what you've been standing here all this time to say?

Mudbriar

I was deciding between "goodbye" and "see you later".

Pinkie Pie

Uh... but, they're the same thing.

Mudbriar

Technically, they're very different. "See you later" implies an event in the near future wherein we see each other. "Goodbye" expresses good wishes where parting or at the end of a conversation.

Pinkie Pie

Yyyyyeah, same thing.

Mudbriar

I will not apologize for speaking with precision.

Maud Pie

[deadpan] Pinkie, the reason I've been so busy is that I have a boyfriend now.

Pinkie Pie

A wha...?!

Maud Pie

[deadpan] A boyfriend.

Pinkie Pie

A wha...?!

Maud Pie

[deadpan] A boyfriend.

Pinkie Pie

A wha...?!

Maud Pie

[deadpan] A boyfriend.

Pinkie Pie

That's so exciting! My sister, in love!

Maud Pie

[deadpan] Technically, we're in "like".

Pinkie Pie

You?

Mudbriar

Yes.

Pinkie Pie

You?

Mudbriar

Yes.

Pinkie Pie

You.

Mudbriar

Yes.

Pinkie Pie

I mean, [laughs] you! You, you, you!

Mudbriar

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Pinkie Pie

I'm... really into sticks, too! They're great for hitting piñatas! Huh?

Maud Pie

[deadpan] Pinkie...

Pinkie Pie

Oh. You wanna go first?

Mudbriar

That is stick abuse.

Pinkie Pie

[crying] I don't understand! How could Maud like Mudbriar? Is it Opposite Day? Nothing makes sense!

I'm not shy, and I hate animals!

Fashion?! Not for me, darling!

[spits] An apple a day is downright disgusting!

Slow and steady wins the race!

I never learned to read!

[laughing]

Pinkie Pie

What if I don't like cupcakes?! [screams]

Fluttershy

[hipster voice] The shop is, like, a no-rodent zone now.

Pinkie Pie

She called them "rodents"?!

Fluttershy

I'd definitely rather be myself anyway, even if I don't exactly have what it takes to be a shop pony.

Twilight Sparkle

I wouldn't sell yourself short. Those sales pony characters all came from you!

Rainbow Dash

Yeah! I think you totally have what it takes.

Pinkie Pie

Maybe a little too much.

Applejack

Wormy apple cores, Pinkie! How many times have I told you to keep your special effects away from my sets?!

Pinkie Pie

Three hundred twenty-seven. Oh! Unless you just did. Then it's three hundred twenty-eight. [squee]

Twilight Sparkle

Uh, Pinkie? That looks unsafe.

Pinkie Pie

Why would untested magic fireworks that I bought in a back alley from Trixie at midnight be unsafe?

Twilight Sparkle

Who better to model the importance of working as a team?

Pinkie Pie

Um, Rarity? Fluttershy? Me? Spike? This flowerpot?

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Can we hurry this up? We're on a schedule here! Everything must be perfect!

Pinkie Pie

Twilight, your schedule can wait! Fluttershy's upset!

Mean Twilight Sparkle

Well, tell her to get over it! I’ll go get the others. Stay, here.

[appears from the other side] Oh, great. You upset Fluttershy, too?

Pinkie Pie

You know what, Twilight? Maybe if you weren't so worried about schedules, you'd realize you're the one ruining the retreat for your friends!

Twilight Sparkle

[gasps] Well, if my friends don't care about the retreat I planned for them... maybe they should've stayed home!

Fluttershy

Can't we all just get along?! [crying]

Twilight Sparkle

Of course I care about Fluttershy!

Pinkie Pie

Then you've got a super weird way of showing it!

W-What in Equestria's going on here?

Pinkie Pie

Twilight is so into her "retreat" that she doesn't even care if her friends are upset! She just wants us to "Stay. On. Schedule"!

Twilight Sparkle

Well, I'm sorry, Pinkie, if I knew you thought this was a "boring, lame, no-fun retreat", I wouldn't have invited you in the first place!

Pinkie Pie

I never said that!!

Applejack

Sorry, y'all. We would've been here sooner, but we had to take the long way after Rarity ran off with all my stuff.

Wha—?! I most certainly did not!

Applejack

What?! You know I ain't no liar! [to Starlight Glimmer] Where's all your gear?

Starlight Glimmer

Why? So you can laugh at me some more?!

Rainbow Dash

Hey, hey, we're all friends here!

Fluttershy

Friends?! You left me alone in the woods! [sobs]

Twilight Sparkle

EVERYPONY, QUIET!!!

Twilight Sparkle

Listen. We know each other really well — the great stuff and how to get on each other's nerves, too. I wanted a fun trip with my friends, but instead I got carried away with plans and ruined everything. If you want to forget it all and head home, I won’t be offended. I just want us to stop fighting.

Applejack

[to Starlight Glimmer] Hey, sorry if I got carried away with all that camping stuff.

Starlight Glimmer

I'm sorry, too. I should've just told you I'll never like camping. Also, I'll never like camping.

Well, if we're all being honest, I can't survive with just this tiny yet fashionable little saddlebag! I miss my things!

Twilight Sparkle

[gasps] Are you kidding me?

Pinkie Pie

[laughing] This was... the worst... day... ever!

Starlight Glimmer

Come on, everypony. We can fix this campsite in no time.

Applejack

Spoken like a true camper.

Starlight Glimmer

Eh, don’t push it. [Chuckles]

Twilight Sparkle

You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.

A glamour spell on our cutie marks?

Rainbow Dash

A fake summons from the map?

Pinkie Pie

Hey, at least we got to go spelunking in that really creepy cave with all those eyeless worm creatures chasing us.