Dexter Larsen quotes from Monk

Dexter Larsen

[about his life before publishing Sapphire] I was a nerd, publishing my little electronics magazine. I was the kind of guy a woman like you would never talk to.

Sharona Fleming

You still are.

Dexter Larsen

Detective, caddie, car thief. You wear many hats, Mr. Monk. You, uh…you looking for something?

Adrian Monk

Did you drive this car, Mr. Larsen? Maybe Sunday morning?

Dexter Larsen

Why would you think that?

Adrian Monk

Somebody was smoking a cigar in here.

Dexter Larsen

Well, a lot of people smoke cigars, Mr. Monk.

Adrian Monk

Right, but the texture and size of this cigar ash are consistent with those from your precious Cubano de Oros.

Dexter Larsen

Hmmm.

Adrian Monk

How did you do it?

Dexter Larsen

You mean how did I, uh, rise from humble beginnings to achieve all of this?

Adrian Monk

No, no. I mean. How did you murder Elliot D'Souza?

Dexter Larsen

What are you talking about? There was no murder. Elliot was alone. The door was locked.

Adrian Monk

Right. How did you do it?

Dexter Larsen

You've taken a great interest in me, and the truth is I've taken an interest on you too, and your friend Sharona. May I show you something? [produces a photograph from an envelope] My research staff is first rate. She must have been nineteen, maybe twenty. You know what? Th…that's…that's my favorite age. Hungry with no inhibitions. These were taken in Atlantic City. She was using a different name, but my lawyers assure me that the release that she signed is solid. I can publish them anytime I want.

Adrian Monk

What kind of man are you?

Dexter Larsen

I told you on the golf course, Mr. Monk. I do not lose. Now Sharona, she has a son, how old is he now?

Adrian Monk

He is twelve.

Dexter Larsen

Twelve. That's an impressionable age. I think we understand each other, don't we? Any more questions about what happened to Elliott?

Adrian Monk

No.

Dexter Larsen

You can let yourself out.

Dexter Larsen

What the hell is going on? [Stottlemeyer gives him a search warrant]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Dexter Larsen, that's a warrant, duly sworn, authorizing us to search your house.

Dex, I tried to call you. They've been here an hour. They've been looking everywhere!

Dexter Larsen

Looking for what?

Adrian Monk

Looking... for proof that you killed Elliot D'Souza.

Dexter Larsen

Mr. Monk, are you serious? [notices that his Carvasia is lying on the dining room table] My Carvasia. I told you not to touch that!

Adrian Monk

Sorry, I'll get it. [He starts to grab for it]

Dexter Larsen

No! No! Don't touch it. I'll do it. It's very valuable. [He tries to pick it up off the table, but it doesn't budge; Sharona stares at Dexter oddly]

Sharona Fleming

Is there a problem?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

What's wrong? Pick it up. Can't weigh more than fifteen pounds.

Dexter Larsen

All right. What did you do? Did you glue it down?

Adrian Monk

Excuse me, if I may. [He picks it up with ease] No, not glued. Your turn. [Dexter tries to pick it up again, but it is stuck to the table] We found it, Dexter.

Dexter Larsen

Found what?

Sharona Fleming

The magnet that you built. [Stottlemeyer moves aside a dining table chair, revealing that Randy is holding a large magnet to the underside of the table]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Randy, you can come out now, unless you're enjoying yourself down there. [Randy gets up, carrying the large magnet with him]

Dexter Larsen

What's this supposed to be?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

What, you don't recognize that? We found it in your workshop. It had fingerprints all over it. [to Monk] Go ahead.